I doubt it was hilarious for her..Anyone who believed this transparent ruse was real and lost such a vast sum of money obviously deserves pity, not mockery.
These predators seek out women they know are lonely ,vulnerable ,older or not mentally sound. I don't think laughing at their extreme naivety is a natural human reaction but I suppose it takes all sorts..knock yourself out.
She was an interior designer, and that she had 700k to be conned out of shows she was not vulnerable, just completely fucking stupid, so yes, it was hilarious that she fell for it.
In any case, aren't you a predator yourself? Preying on vulnerable, lonely, not mentally sound men, in order to get cash out of them in your role as a cheap whore, selling trashy pics and vids, or maybe being a man pretending to be a cheap whore?
Either way, you are hardly in a position to be taking the moral high ground about anything at all.
From what I can remember of your pics, I find it highly unlikely that you conned these vulnerable men out of anything remotely resembling 700k though.
What the actual f*ck.. Never have I conned anyone and not would I. I'm certainly not a predator. I'm done with this childish nonsense.The activities you refer to (for no apparent reason..) to were TEN years ago. Nothing in your reply pertains to the thread in any way.
I'm so glad I made up with Vam who is a lovely very funny lady.xx But Sir, you don't deserve my time. If anytime we disagree on a thread you are permitted to throw events from a decade ago at me and make things up...life's too short for this..
-- Edited by Fluffy on Monday 7th of July 2025 10:23:19 AM
-- Edited by Fluffy on Monday 7th of July 2025 10:36:07 AM
Maybe if Dogs reopens and flourishes, people with a mind to could rejoin there....they are the specialists in reaping up old news.
I thought we had moved on.
I certainly wouldn't join there but that's just my view. I totally understand, I think he went a little far in his response calling me a predator and pretending I conned men out of money. I was just a bit shocked and hurt I think. Men who view porn of their own free will (ten years ago )being preyed upon victims isn't an argument one heard often.
I just can't laugh at ladies losing their life savings due to con men. She clearly isn't stupid but mentally ill to believe those photo shopped pictures were real. It's a shame nobody was there to look after her.
Fluffy said
Jul 7 1:31 PM, 2025
Digger wrote:
Fluffy wrote:
Red Okktober wrote:
Fluffy wrote:
I doubt it was hilarious for her..Anyone who believed this transparent ruse was real and lost such a vast sum of money obviously deserves pity, not mockery.
These predators seek out women they know are lonely ,vulnerable ,older or not mentally sound. I don't think laughing at their extreme naivety is a natural human reaction but I suppose it takes all sorts..knock yourself out.
She was an interior designer, and that she had 700k to be conned out of shows she was not vulnerable, just completely fucking stupid, so yes, it was hilarious that she fell for it.
In any case, aren't you a predator yourself? Preying on vulnerable, lonely, not mentally sound men, in order to get cash out of them in your role as a cheap whore, selling trashy pics and vids, or maybe being a man pretending to be a cheap whore?
Either way, you are hardly in a position to be taking the moral high ground about anything at all.
From what I can remember of your pics, I find it highly unlikely that you conned these vulnerable men out of anything remotely resembling 700k though.
What the actual f*ck.. Never have I conned anyone and not would I. I'm certainly not a predator. I'm done with this childish nonsense.The activities you refer to (for no apparent reason..) to were TEN years ago. Nothing in your reply pertains to the thread in any way.
I'm so glad I made up with Vam who is a lovely very funny lady.xx But Sir, you don't deserve my time. If anytime we disagree on a thread you are permitted to throw events from a decade ago at me and make things up...life's too short for this..
-- Edited by Fluffy on Monday 7th of July 2025 10:23:19 AM
-- Edited by Fluffy on Monday 7th of July 2025 10:36:07 AM
I don't think laughing at their extreme naivety is a natural human reaction but I suppose it takes all sorts..knock yourself out.
Your words to Red.
When you wind folks up they bite. Some more than others. You know that. You know how forums work. You know that often, historical things get dredged up. If you think this place gives you a hard time go join Mumsnet, then you'll see what real bitchery is.
I agree. I will just give the gentleman a wide berth. And yes I have heard how notorious Mumsnet is!
Digger said
Jul 7 1:53 PM, 2025
Fluffy wrote:
Syl wrote:
Fluffy wrote:
Red Okktober wrote:
Fluffy wrote:
I doubt it was hilarious for her..Anyone who believed this transparent ruse was real and lost such a vast sum of money obviously deserves pity, not mockery.
These predators seek out women they know are lonely ,vulnerable ,older or not mentally sound. I don't think laughing at their extreme naivety is a natural human reaction but I suppose it takes all sorts..knock yourself out.
She was an interior designer, and that she had 700k to be conned out of shows she was not vulnerable, just completely fucking stupid, so yes, it was hilarious that she fell for it.
In any case, aren't you a predator yourself? Preying on vulnerable, lonely, not mentally sound men, in order to get cash out of them in your role as a cheap whore, selling trashy pics and vids, or maybe being a man pretending to be a cheap whore?
Either way, you are hardly in a position to be taking the moral high ground about anything at all.
From what I can remember of your pics, I find it highly unlikely that you conned these vulnerable men out of anything remotely resembling 700k though.
What the actual f*ck.. Never have I conned anyone and not would I. I'm certainly not a predator. I'm done with this childish nonsense.The activities you refer to (for no apparent reason..) to were TEN years ago. Nothing in your reply pertains to the thread in any way.
I'm so glad I made up with Vam who is a lovely very funny lady.xx But Sir, you don't deserve my time. If anytime we disagree on a thread you are permitted to throw events from a decade ago at me and make things up...life's too short for this..
-- Edited by Fluffy on Monday 7th of July 2025 10:23:19 AM
-- Edited by Fluffy on Monday 7th of July 2025 10:36:07 AM
Maybe if Dogs reopens and flourishes, people with a mind to could rejoin there....they are the specialists in reaping up old news.
I thought we had moved on.
I certainly wouldn't join there but that's just my view. I totally understand, I think he went a little far in his response calling me a predator and pretending I conned men out of money. I was just a bit shocked and hurt I think. Men who view porn of their own free will (ten years ago )being preyed upon victims isn't an argument one heard often.
I just can't laugh at ladies losing their life savings due to con men. She clearly isn't stupid but mentally ill to believe those photo shopped pictures were real. It's a shame nobody was there to look after her.
Being stupid doesn't equate to mentally ill. Do you think every daft moron is ill? I know people with degrees and high IQ's that aren't smart or streetwise. Does that make them ill?
She was at an age where the flattery of what is perceived as a younger handsome perhaps famous person might turn your head if you're stupid enough to believe it. Clearly not savvy enough to realise this kind of thing goes on all the time. And you don't have to be thick to be stupid.
Red Okktober said
Jul 7 3:08 PM, 2025
Fluffy wrote:
What the actual f*ck.. Never have I conned anyone and not would I. I'm certainly not a predator. I'm done with this childish nonsense.The activities you refer to (for no apparent reason..) to were TEN years ago. Nothing in your reply pertains to the thread in any way.
I'm so glad I made up with Vam who is a lovely very funny lady.xx But Sir, you don't deserve my time. If anytime we disagree on a thread you are permitted to throw events from a decade ago at me and make things up...life's too short for this..
-- Edited by Fluffy on Monday 7th of July 2025 10:23:19 AM
-- Edited by Fluffy on Monday 7th of July 2025 10:36:07 AM
Many people, although I appreciate not everyone, will find humour in that story due to the Python-esque absurdity of it. The pics of Brad by themselves are very funny - and that a seemingly intelligent woman has been conned out of 700k by thinking he was her boyfriend, is funnier still. I realise we live in woke times and that laughing at other people's misfortunes is now frowned up, but somethimes other people's misfortunes provide the best source for humour, as is the case here.
Claiming you know what a 'natural reaction' should be to such a story is condescending claptrap, as is your banging on about predatory behaviour, when you have been guilty of it yourself in the past. It doesn't matter if it was 10 years ago or 10 minutes ago, you still did it and is is part of who you are, and hardly puts you in a position of strength when it comes to making preachy posts trying to take the moral high ground.
I've got nothing against sex workers btw - just the hypocritical ones.
Syl said
Jul 7 4:53 PM, 2025
I don't think in general these people, men as well as women, are mentally ill either.
I do think they fool themselves that they are still alluring enough to entice good looking young guns online....and that's their downfall.
I have known a couple of women, middle aged and older, ordinary looking women like the one in the OP, who are convinced young waiters are ogling them, and believe me....they are not.
Growing older does not always make for growing wiser.
Fluffy said
Jul 7 4:55 PM, 2025
Digger wrote:
Fluffy wrote:
Syl wrote:
Fluffy wrote:
Red Okktober wrote:
Fluffy wrote:
I doubt it was hilarious for her..Anyone who believed this transparent ruse was real and lost such a vast sum of money obviously deserves pity, not mockery.
These predators seek out women they know are lonely ,vulnerable ,older or not mentally sound. I don't think laughing at their extreme naivety is a natural human reaction but I suppose it takes all sorts..knock yourself out.
She was an interior designer, and that she had 700k to be conned out of shows she was not vulnerable, just completely fucking stupid, so yes, it was hilarious that she fell for it.
In any case, aren't you a predator yourself? Preying on vulnerable, lonely, not mentally sound men, in order to get cash out of them in your role as a cheap whore, selling trashy pics and vids, or maybe being a man pretending to be a cheap whore?
Either way, you are hardly in a position to be taking the moral high ground about anything at all.
From what I can remember of your pics, I find it highly unlikely that you conned these vulnerable men out of anything remotely resembling 700k though.
What the actual f*ck.. Never have I conned anyone and not would I. I'm certainly not a predator. I'm done with this childish nonsense.The activities you refer to (for no apparent reason..) to were TEN years ago. Nothing in your reply pertains to the thread in any way.
I'm so glad I made up with Vam who is a lovely very funny lady.xx But Sir, you don't deserve my time. If anytime we disagree on a thread you are permitted to throw events from a decade ago at me and make things up...life's too short for this..
-- Edited by Fluffy on Monday 7th of July 2025 10:23:19 AM
-- Edited by Fluffy on Monday 7th of July 2025 10:36:07 AM
Maybe if Dogs reopens and flourishes, people with a mind to could rejoin there....they are the specialists in reaping up old news.
I thought we had moved on.
I certainly wouldn't join there but that's just my view. I totally understand, I think he went a little far in his response calling me a predator and pretending I conned men out of money. I was just a bit shocked and hurt I think. Men who view porn of their own free will (ten years ago )being preyed upon victims isn't an argument one heard often.
I just can't laugh at ladies losing their life savings due to con men. She clearly isn't stupid but mentally ill to believe those photo shopped pictures were real. It's a shame nobody was there to look after her.
Being stupid doesn't equate to mentally ill. Do you think every daft moron is ill? I know people with degrees and high IQ's that aren't smart or streetwise. Does that make them ill?
She was at an age where the flattery of what is perceived as a younger handsome perhaps famous person might turn your head if you're stupid enough to believe it. Clearly not savvy enough to realise this kind of thing goes on all the time. And you don't have to be thick to be stupid.
I know people can be very naive and daft, I certainly have my moments!
But I think giving away 700K to a complete stranger (that you believe is a besotted bed bound Brad Pitt ) implies that specific lady may not be of sound mind. I don't think many ladies of any age would believe Brad Pitt was communicating with them no matter how much they were flattered.
I agree the lady in the opening post is not mentally ill, just lonely and naive. Unfortunately she came to rely on this man communicating with her on a daily basis. It's a shame she didn't confide in someone for perspective, but that's true of all victims of confidence men.
I don't think it's the flattery alone that cons the victims, it's the feeling of self worth that the con artist gives people of generally low self esteem. They are happy that someone genuinely finds them interesting and wants to talk to them. I don't know how the con men who do this can sleep at night.
I doubt very much the banks would replace any money as in either case as the ladies have the cash willingly.
Digger said
Jul 7 5:28 PM, 2025
Syl wrote:
I don't think in general these people, men as well as women, are mentally ill either. I do think they fool themselves that they are still alluring enough to entice good looking young guns online....and that's their downfall.
I have known a couple of women, middle aged and older, ordinary looking women like the one in the OP, who are convinced young waiters are ogling them, and believe me....they are not. Growing older does not always make for growing wiser.
The thing about aging is that all of us struggle with it, particularly women who are suddenly deemed invisible sexually or otherwise when they reach a certain age. There's a kind of transition period where you have to realise that you're losing your looks/figure or whatever and you're never going to get the genuine attention you got when you were at your most nubile. Most of us are wise enough to know fake flattery when we receive it. But when the flirtation takes place on line, it's too easy to forget who you are and what you actually look like and your age etc. You can get sucked in to feeling and acting like a 20 year old because most of us who are older don't actually feel our physical age in our heads. I know I don't.
But...I've never been one to enjoy flattery. And I can spot fake flattery a mile off. But if you can't, and you get lost in that moment in that situation and in that fantasy, the result is silly old cows losing money.
Syl said
Jul 7 5:41 PM, 2025
Digger wrote:
Syl wrote:
I don't think in general these people, men as well as women, are mentally ill either. I do think they fool themselves that they are still alluring enough to entice good looking young guns online....and that's their downfall.
I have known a couple of women, middle aged and older, ordinary looking women like the one in the OP, who are convinced young waiters are ogling them, and believe me....they are not. Growing older does not always make for growing wiser.
The thing about aging is that all of us struggle with it, particularly women who are suddenly deemed invisible sexually or otherwise when they reach a certain age. There's a kind of transition period where you have to realise that you're losing your looks/figure or whatever and you're never going to get the genuine attention you got when you were at your most nubile. Most of us are wise enough to know fake flattery when we receive it. But when the flirtation takes place on line, it's too easy to forget who you are and what you actually look like and your age etc. You can get sucked in to feeling and acting like a 20 year old because most of us who are older don't actually feel our physical age in our heads. I know I don't.
But...I've never been one to enjoy flattery. And I can spot fake flattery a mile off. But if you can't, and you get lost in that moment in that situation and in that fantasy, the result is silly old cows losing money.
I have never struggled with getting older and not having men gawp....I always hated it when I was younger, and that is the truth.
I definitely struggle with getting older and not being as physically fit, losing my young looks is unimportant. I think acceptance of looking older is a real gift, and I do know other women who embrace that too.
Fake flattery is cringeworthy, genuine compliments are usually welcome....just don't overdo it, bullshit stinks.
Fluffy said
Jul 7 5:48 PM, 2025
Syl wrote:
I don't think in general these people, men as well as women, are mentally ill either. I do think they fool themselves that they are still alluring enough to entice good looking young guns online....and that's their downfall.
I have known a couple of women, middle aged and older, ordinary looking women like the one in the OP, who are convinced young waiters are ogling them, and believe me....they are not. Growing older does not always make for growing wiser.
I think I have been misunderstood. Only the lady who believed Brad Pitt was contacting her and gave away 700 grand do I believe was genuinely not of sound mind. Nobody else.
Syl said
Jul 7 5:51 PM, 2025
Fluffy wrote:
Syl wrote:
I don't think in general these people, men as well as women, are mentally ill either. I do think they fool themselves that they are still alluring enough to entice good looking young guns online....and that's their downfall.
I have known a couple of women, middle aged and older, ordinary looking women like the one in the OP, who are convinced young waiters are ogling them, and believe me....they are not. Growing older does not always make for growing wiser.
I think I have been misunderstood. Only the lady who believed Brad Pitt was contacting her and gave away 700 grand do I believe was genuinely not of sound mind. Nobody else.
She was definitely unhinged somewhere down the line, but love/lust/obsession, can do that to anyone.
Fluffy said
Jul 7 6:00 PM, 2025
Syl wrote:
Digger wrote:
Syl wrote:
I don't think in general these people, men as well as women, are mentally ill either. I do think they fool themselves that they are still alluring enough to entice good looking young guns online....and that's their downfall.
I have known a couple of women, middle aged and older, ordinary looking women like the one in the OP, who are convinced young waiters are ogling them, and believe me....they are not. Growing older does not always make for growing wiser.
The thing about aging is that all of us struggle with it, particularly women who are suddenly deemed invisible sexually or otherwise when they reach a certain age. There's a kind of transition period where you have to realise that you're losing your looks/figure or whatever and you're never going to get the genuine attention you got when you were at your most nubile. Most of us are wise enough to know fake flattery when we receive it. But when the flirtation takes place on line, it's too easy to forget who you are and what you actually look like and your age etc. You can get sucked in to feeling and acting like a 20 year old because most of us who are older don't actually feel our physical age in our heads. I know I don't.
But...I've never been one to enjoy flattery. And I can spot fake flattery a mile off. But if you can't, and you get lost in that moment in that situation and in that fantasy, the result is silly old cows losing money.
I have never struggled with getting older and not having men gawp....I always hated it when I was younger, and that is the truth.
I definitely struggle with getting older and not being as physically fit, losing my young looks is unimportant. I think acceptance of looking older is a real gift, and I do know other women who embrace that too.
Fake flattery is cringeworthy, genuine compliments are usually welcome....just don't overdo it, bullshit stinks.
How do you know it's insincere though? I think people suspect nicer people, not just men, and those who give compliments in general, because when people are nice they seem untrustworthy. I can't speak for others but when I give a compliment I mean it. I wouldn't say it otherwise.
I think the media make it difficult for many women to accept ageing. Adverts trying to flog anti ageing cream as if getting older in itself is a disease, and there are more women than ever (and men) going under the surgeons knife. I don't judge anyone who.has plastic surgery to try and stave off the inevitable effects of getting older if it makes them feel.better. But all too often it doesn't and the pressure to remain young looking is a tyranny as nobody can look and remain young for long.
Anonymous said
Jul 7 6:36 PM, 2025
Fluffy wrote:
Digger wrote:
Fluffy wrote:
Syl wrote:
Fluffy wrote:
Red Okktober wrote:
Fluffy wrote:
I doubt it was hilarious for her..Anyone who believed this transparent ruse was real and lost such a vast sum of money obviously deserves pity, not mockery.
These predators seek out women they know are lonely ,vulnerable ,older or not mentally sound. I don't think laughing at their extreme naivety is a natural human reaction but I suppose it takes all sorts..knock yourself out.
She was an interior designer, and that she had 700k to be conned out of shows she was not vulnerable, just completely fucking stupid, so yes, it was hilarious that she fell for it.
In any case, aren't you a predator yourself? Preying on vulnerable, lonely, not mentally sound men, in order to get cash out of them in your role as a cheap whore, selling trashy pics and vids, or maybe being a man pretending to be a cheap whore?
Either way, you are hardly in a position to be taking the moral high ground about anything at all.
From what I can remember of your pics, I find it highly unlikely that you conned these vulnerable men out of anything remotely resembling 700k though.
What the actual f*ck.. Never have I conned anyone and not would I. I'm certainly not a predator. I'm done with this childish nonsense.The activities you refer to (for no apparent reason..) to were TEN years ago. Nothing in your reply pertains to the thread in any way.
I'm so glad I made up with Vam who is a lovely very funny lady.xx But Sir, you don't deserve my time. If anytime we disagree on a thread you are permitted to throw events from a decade ago at me and make things up...life's too short for this..
-- Edited by Fluffy on Monday 7th of July 2025 10:23:19 AM
-- Edited by Fluffy on Monday 7th of July 2025 10:36:07 AM
Maybe if Dogs reopens and flourishes, people with a mind to could rejoin there....they are the specialists in reaping up old news.
I thought we had moved on.
I certainly wouldn't join there but that's just my view. I totally understand, I think he went a little far in his response calling me a predator and pretending I conned men out of money. I was just a bit shocked and hurt I think. Men who view porn of their own free will (ten years ago )being preyed upon victims isn't an argument one heard often.
I just can't laugh at ladies losing their life savings due to con men. She clearly isn't stupid but mentally ill to believe those photo shopped pictures were real. It's a shame nobody was there to look after her.
Being stupid doesn't equate to mentally ill. Do you think every daft moron is ill? I know people with degrees and high IQ's that aren't smart or streetwise. Does that make them ill?
She was at an age where the flattery of what is perceived as a younger handsome perhaps famous person might turn your head if you're stupid enough to believe it. Clearly not savvy enough to realise this kind of thing goes on all the time. And you don't have to be thick to be stupid.
I know people can be very naive and daft, I certainly have my moments!
But I think giving away 700K to a complete stranger (that you believe is a besotted bed bound Brad Pitt ) implies that specific lady may not be of sound mind. I don't think many ladies of any age would believe Brad Pitt was communicating with them no matter how much they were flattered.
I agree the lady in the opening post is not mentally ill, just lonely and naive. Unfortunately she came to rely on this man communicating with her on a daily basis. It's a shame she didn't confide in someone for perspective, but that's true of all victims of confidence men.
I don't think it's the flattery alone that cons the victims, it's the feeling of self worth that the con artist gives people of generally low self esteem. They are happy that someone genuinely finds them interesting and wants to talk to them. I don't know how the con men who do this can sleep at night.
I doubt very much the banks would replace any money as in either case as the ladies have the cash willingly.
Her own daughter tried and was ignored.
Why should they? She was paying for flattery so she got what she paid for.
Syl said
Jul 7 7:03 PM, 2025
Fluffy wrote:
Syl wrote:
Digger wrote:
Syl wrote:
I don't think in general these people, men as well as women, are mentally ill either. I do think they fool themselves that they are still alluring enough to entice good looking young guns online....and that's their downfall.
I have known a couple of women, middle aged and older, ordinary looking women like the one in the OP, who are convinced young waiters are ogling them, and believe me....they are not. Growing older does not always make for growing wiser.
The thing about aging is that all of us struggle with it, particularly women who are suddenly deemed invisible sexually or otherwise when they reach a certain age. There's a kind of transition period where you have to realise that you're losing your looks/figure or whatever and you're never going to get the genuine attention you got when you were at your most nubile. Most of us are wise enough to know fake flattery when we receive it. But when the flirtation takes place on line, it's too easy to forget who you are and what you actually look like and your age etc. You can get sucked in to feeling and acting like a 20 year old because most of us who are older don't actually feel our physical age in our heads. I know I don't.
But...I've never been one to enjoy flattery. And I can spot fake flattery a mile off. But if you can't, and you get lost in that moment in that situation and in that fantasy, the result is silly old cows losing money.
I have never struggled with getting older and not having men gawp....I always hated it when I was younger, and that is the truth.
I definitely struggle with getting older and not being as physically fit, losing my young looks is unimportant. I think acceptance of looking older is a real gift, and I do know other women who embrace that too.
Fake flattery is cringeworthy, genuine compliments are usually welcome....just don't overdo it, bullshit stinks.
How do you know it's insincere though? I think people suspect nicer people, not just men, and those who give compliments in general, because when people are nice they seem untrustworthy. I can't speak for others but when I give a compliment I mean it. I wouldn't say it otherwise.
I think the media make it difficult for many women to accept ageing. Adverts trying to flog anti ageing cream as if getting older in itself is a disease, and there are more women than ever (and men) going under the surgeons knife. I don't judge anyone who.has plastic surgery to try and stave off the inevitable effects of getting older if it makes them feel.better. But all too often it doesn't and the pressure to remain young looking is a tyranny as nobody can look and remain young for long.
I think many women have a bullshit sensor when it comes to false flattery....obviously not the women who are taken in online, but they are in the minority (hopefully)
I agree that compliments (genuine) can be very nice, I tend to compliment people in real life, and if I do, I also genuinely mean it.
If people want to have surgery in attempts to hang onto their youth, that's their business, good luck to them, sometimes it can work for a while. What I do hate to see is the way so many young women are altering their faces by having lip fillers, God knows what they are aiming for, but the Katie Price look doesn't suit anyone....even her.
I also think womens worse critics are other women...it's like they can't bare for other women to be lovely.
Digger said
Jul 7 10:54 PM, 2025
Syl wrote:
Digger wrote:
Syl wrote:
I don't think in general these people, men as well as women, are mentally ill either. I do think they fool themselves that they are still alluring enough to entice good looking young guns online....and that's their downfall.
I have known a couple of women, middle aged and older, ordinary looking women like the one in the OP, who are convinced young waiters are ogling them, and believe me....they are not. Growing older does not always make for growing wiser.
The thing about aging is that all of us struggle with it, particularly women who are suddenly deemed invisible sexually or otherwise when they reach a certain age. There's a kind of transition period where you have to realise that you're losing your looks/figure or whatever and you're never going to get the genuine attention you got when you were at your most nubile. Most of us are wise enough to know fake flattery when we receive it. But when the flirtation takes place on line, it's too easy to forget who you are and what you actually look like and your age etc. You can get sucked in to feeling and acting like a 20 year old because most of us who are older don't actually feel our physical age in our heads. I know I don't.
But...I've never been one to enjoy flattery. And I can spot fake flattery a mile off. But if you can't, and you get lost in that moment in that situation and in that fantasy, the result is silly old cows losing money.
I have never struggled with getting older and not having men gawp....I always hated it when I was younger, and that is the truth.
I definitely struggle with getting older and not being as physically fit, losing my young looks is unimportant. I think acceptance of looking older is a real gift, and I do know other women who embrace that too.
Fake flattery is cringeworthy, genuine compliments are usually welcome....just don't overdo it, bullshit stinks.
I have a two friends who've just lost their husbands, one to death, one to divorce, and they both said that being the age they are at with no partner to love them terrifies them. They are absolutely lost. So it's not about having men gawp at you. That's not my point. Who wants to be gawped at, at any age? It's more about having a mind that still feels young and a body that's aging and letting you down. And I don't care what anyone says, you do become invisible at a certain age. That's a fact not just my opinion. You're lucky that it doesn't affect you but your family situation is stable. There are many women, and men, out there who live alone.
Factors Contributing to Perceived Invisibility:
Ageism:
A societal bias that devalues older people and their contributions, often leading to their marginalization.
Youth-Oriented Culture:
Western cultures tend to focus on youthfulness and beauty, which can lead to older individuals being overlooked or disregarded.
Changing Social Roles:
Traditional family structures are evolving, and older adults may not be seen as active, vital members of families and communities as they once were.
Personal Experiences:
Older individuals may feel invisible due to changes in their physical appearance, mobility, or social interactions.
Impact on Women:
Some research indicates that women, particularly as they age, may experience invisibility more acutely than men, potentially due to cultural emphasis on youthfulness and beauty.
Lack of Representation:
Older adults may be underrepresented in media, advertising, and other forms of public communication, further contributing to their invisibility.
Decline in Social Connections:
Loss of social networks due to retirement, relocation, or the passing of loved ones can contribute to feelings of isolation and invisibility.
Consequences of Perceived Invisibility:
Social Isolation:
Feeling ignored or overlooked can lead to loneliness and social withdrawal.
Emotional Distress:
Experiencing ageism and feeling invisible can be painful and damaging to self-esteem.
Reduced Access to Resources:
Older adults may face barriers to accessing healthcare, social services, and other essential resources.
Disengagement from Society:
Feeling invisible can lead to a sense of disengagement from community and civic life.
Syl said
Jul 7 11:09 PM, 2025
Maybe I am not normal then, but I don't feel invisible, neither in my personal life or in society.
I can understand your 2 friends feeling lost, being single after being married for many years , especially if your partner dies, must be a huge shock.
However, one of my best friends was widowed a few years ago, after 40 odd years of a mostly contented marriage, and she has never been happier.
It takes all sorts.
Digger said
Jul 7 11:22 PM, 2025
Syl wrote:
Maybe I am not normal then, but I don't feel invisible, neither in my personal life or in society. I can understand your 2 friends feeling lost, being single after being married for many years , especially if your partner dies, must be a huge shock. However, one of my best friends was widowed a few years ago, after 40 odd years of a mostly contented marriage, and she has never been happier.
It takes all sorts.
Some people can cope and others can't. There is no 'normal'. It's just that we're different. And until it happens to you who can say how we'd react? I'm a strong believer in not living your life being totally dependant on your partner for happiness. You have to be your own person. With your own interests. And capable of living independently if you have to. But that won't necessarily assuage your grief or loneliness. You don't quite bounce back as you get older like you did when younger. Add to that financial difficulties and you've got a horrible situation.
Syl said
Jul 7 11:42 PM, 2025
Yes, peoples circumstances differ, as do people's reactions to lifes events.
I would be lost, I don't kid myself. We have been together for 50 years, never been apart, and I know my attitude to how I still feel valued and not invisible, has a lot to do with him and our relationship.
Fluffy said
Jul 8 9:56 AM, 2025
Syl wrote:
Digger wrote:
Syl wrote:
I don't think in general these people, men as well as women, are mentally ill either. I do think they fool themselves that they are still alluring enough to entice good looking young guns online....and that's their downfall.
I have known a couple of women, middle aged and older, ordinary looking women like the one in the OP, who are convinced young waiters are ogling them, and believe me....they are not. Growing older does not always make for growing wiser.
The thing about aging is that all of us struggle with it, particularly women who are suddenly deemed invisible sexually or otherwise when they reach a certain age. There's a kind of transition period where you have to realise that you're losing your looks/figure or whatever and you're never going to get the genuine attention you got when you were at your most nubile. Most of us are wise enough to know fake flattery when we receive it. But when the flirtation takes place on line, it's too easy to forget who you are and what you actually look like and your age etc. You can get sucked in to feeling and acting like a 20 year old because most of us who are older don't actually feel our physical age in our heads. I know I don't.
But...I've never been one to enjoy flattery. And I can spot fake flattery a mile off. But if you can't, and you get lost in that moment in that situation and in that fantasy, the result is silly old cows losing money.
I have never struggled with getting older and not having men gawp....I always hated it when I was younger, and that is the truth.
So did I as when girls are younger men sense they feel more vulnerable and their behaviour goes beyond looking. I was scared of male attention in my early teens. When I was 14 a Pakistani man approached me in the street and asked me to get a coffee. I didn't even drink coffee at that age but said yes as I was flustered. I live in a small coastal town which was practically all white back then and this behaviour was NOT the done thing. He asked to take me clubbing, insisting it was not a "school night" so he knew my age. I left my coffee untouched and said I must leave after half an hour of him badgering. He knew I was uncomfortable.
An elderly man also flashed at me when I was 16,walking alone. When I was with friends we would giggle about the whistles and comments but looking back we were in school uniform and these men were not young. I can't pretend I will enjoy becoming invisible as I age but that's because I take it as a compliment. When girls are younger male attention seems more insidious. It's all about control.
Vam said
Jul 8 11:51 AM, 2025
Syl wrote:
Yes, peoples circumstances differ, as do people's reactions to lifes events. I would be lost, I don't kid myself. We have been together for 50 years, never been apart, and I know my attitude to how I still feel valued and not invisible, has a lot to do with him and our relationship.
I love this post. Two halves of a whole, right there
Plus your chap is actually cooking for you until you’re back on your feet. Mine would have had extreme panic attacks anywhere near an oven dial, and had take-out delivery services on speed dial.
Feel free to send yours over to me, when you’ve binned the crutches. I’ll only keep him for as long as it takes him to fill the freezer - promise! 😂
Syl said
Jul 8 12:16 PM, 2025
Fluffy wrote:
Syl wrote:
Digger wrote:
Syl wrote:
I don't think in general these people, men as well as women, are mentally ill either. I do think they fool themselves that they are still alluring enough to entice good looking young guns online....and that's their downfall.
I have known a couple of women, middle aged and older, ordinary looking women like the one in the OP, who are convinced young waiters are ogling them, and believe me....they are not. Growing older does not always make for growing wiser.
The thing about aging is that all of us struggle with it, particularly women who are suddenly deemed invisible sexually or otherwise when they reach a certain age. There's a kind of transition period where you have to realise that you're losing your looks/figure or whatever and you're never going to get the genuine attention you got when you were at your most nubile. Most of us are wise enough to know fake flattery when we receive it. But when the flirtation takes place on line, it's too easy to forget who you are and what you actually look like and your age etc. You can get sucked in to feeling and acting like a 20 year old because most of us who are older don't actually feel our physical age in our heads. I know I don't.
But...I've never been one to enjoy flattery. And I can spot fake flattery a mile off. But if you can't, and you get lost in that moment in that situation and in that fantasy, the result is silly old cows losing money.
I have never struggled with getting older and not having men gawp....I always hated it when I was younger, and that is the truth.
So did I as when girls are younger men sense they feel more vulnerable and their behaviour goes beyond looking. I was scared of male attention in my early teens. When I was 14 a Pakistani man approached me in the street and asked me to get a coffee. I didn't even drink coffee at that age but said yes as I was flustered. I live in a small coastal town which was practically all white back then and this behaviour was NOT the done thing. He asked to take me clubbing, insisting it was not a "school night" so he knew my age. I left my coffee untouched and said I must leave after half an hour of him badgering. He knew I was uncomfortable.
An elderly man also flashed at me when I was 16,walking alone. When I was with friends we would giggle about the whistles and comments but looking back we were in school uniform and these men were not young. I can't pretend I will enjoy becoming invisible as I age but that's because I take it as a compliment. When girls are younger male attention seems more insidious. It's all about control.
I think on the surface, mens behaviour towards females has improved.
Most women of a certain age remember being flashed at...(three times in my case, once when I was a kid of around 10) being groped, (I slapped a couple of mens faces hard, thankfully none retaliated, I think in today's world they might) cat calling and wolf whistling was part and parcel of life. I remember the last dance in many dance halls when I was a teenager, too polite to refuse, unfortunately they were not polite enough to stop their erection prodding into my groin.....nightmare times when I think back....oh, and there was no such thing as men raping their wives, it was their right.
My son and grandsons would be appalled at behaviour like that now, when my son was a student he worked on a building site...cat calling after women could be a sacking offence, so it didn't happen.
So how come now there is so much misogyny about, I had never heard of the word incel till fairly recently, and rape increases are soaring.
Are the type of men who openly casually abused women in the past, now the men who seethe inwardly, and their hatred or fear of women is being displayed more insidiously, as you said?
Number of rape offences in England and Wales 2002-2024
Rape offences have increased dramatically in England and Wales since 2012/13 when there were 16,038 offences. After this year, rape offences increased substantially, reaching a high of 69,973 offences in the 2021/22 reporting year, before falling slightly to 68,949 in 2022/23, and to 67,928 in 2023/24. When 2023/24 is compared with the 2002/03 reporting year, there was an almost sixfold increase in the number of rape offences recorded by the police in England and Wales.
I certainly wouldn't join there but that's just my view. I totally understand, I think he went a little far in his response calling me a predator and pretending I conned men out of money. I was just a bit shocked and hurt I think. Men who view porn of their own free will (ten years ago )being preyed upon victims isn't an argument one heard often.
I just can't laugh at ladies losing their life savings due to con men. She clearly isn't stupid but mentally ill to believe those photo shopped pictures were real. It's a shame nobody was there to look after her.
I agree. I will just give the gentleman a wide berth. And yes I have heard how notorious Mumsnet is!
Being stupid doesn't equate to mentally ill. Do you think every daft moron is ill? I know people with degrees and high IQ's that aren't smart or streetwise. Does that make them ill?
She was at an age where the flattery of what is perceived as a younger handsome perhaps famous person might turn your head if you're stupid enough to believe it. Clearly not savvy enough to realise this kind of thing goes on all the time. And you don't have to be thick to be stupid.
Many people, although I appreciate not everyone, will find humour in that story due to the Python-esque absurdity of it. The pics of Brad by themselves are very funny - and that a seemingly intelligent woman has been conned out of 700k by thinking he was her boyfriend, is funnier still. I realise we live in woke times and that laughing at other people's misfortunes is now frowned up, but somethimes other people's misfortunes provide the best source for humour, as is the case here.
Claiming you know what a 'natural reaction' should be to such a story is condescending claptrap, as is your banging on about predatory behaviour, when you have been guilty of it yourself in the past. It doesn't matter if it was 10 years ago or 10 minutes ago, you still did it and is is part of who you are, and hardly puts you in a position of strength when it comes to making preachy posts trying to take the moral high ground.
I've got nothing against sex workers btw - just the hypocritical ones.
I do think they fool themselves that they are still alluring enough to entice good looking young guns online....and that's their downfall.
I have known a couple of women, middle aged and older, ordinary looking women like the one in the OP, who are convinced young waiters are ogling them, and believe me....they are not.
Growing older does not always make for growing wiser.
I know people can be very naive and daft, I certainly have my moments!
But I think giving away 700K to a complete stranger (that you believe is a besotted bed bound Brad Pitt ) implies that specific lady may not be of sound mind. I don't think many ladies of any age would believe Brad Pitt was communicating with them no matter how much they were flattered.
I agree the lady in the opening post is not mentally ill, just lonely and naive. Unfortunately she came to rely on this man communicating with her on a daily basis. It's a shame she didn't confide in someone for perspective, but that's true of all victims of confidence men.
I don't think it's the flattery alone that cons the victims, it's the feeling of self worth that the con artist gives people of generally low self esteem. They are happy that someone genuinely finds them interesting and wants to talk to them. I don't know how the con men who do this can sleep at night.
I doubt very much the banks would replace any money as in either case as the ladies have the cash willingly.
The thing about aging is that all of us struggle with it, particularly women who are suddenly deemed invisible sexually or otherwise when they reach a certain age. There's a kind of transition period where you have to realise that you're losing your looks/figure or whatever and you're never going to get the genuine attention you got when you were at your most nubile. Most of us are wise enough to know fake flattery when we receive it. But when the flirtation takes place on line, it's too easy to forget who you are and what you actually look like and your age etc. You can get sucked in to feeling and acting like a 20 year old because most of us who are older don't actually feel our physical age in our heads. I know I don't.
But...I've never been one to enjoy flattery. And I can spot fake flattery a mile off. But if you can't, and you get lost in that moment in that situation and in that fantasy, the result is silly old cows losing money.
I have never struggled with getting older and not having men gawp....I always hated it when I was younger, and that is the truth.
I definitely struggle with getting older and not being as physically fit, losing my young looks is unimportant. I think acceptance of looking older is a real gift, and I do know other women who embrace that too.
Fake flattery is cringeworthy, genuine compliments are usually welcome....just don't overdo it, bullshit stinks.
I think I have been misunderstood. Only the lady who believed Brad Pitt was contacting her and gave away 700 grand
do I believe was genuinely not of sound mind. Nobody else.
She was definitely unhinged somewhere down the line, but love/lust/obsession, can do that to anyone.
How do you know it's insincere though? I think people suspect nicer people, not just men, and those who give compliments in general, because when people are nice they seem untrustworthy. I can't speak for others but when I give a compliment I mean it. I wouldn't say it otherwise.
I think the media make it difficult for many women to accept ageing. Adverts trying to flog anti ageing cream as if getting older in itself is a disease, and there are more women than ever (and men) going under the surgeons knife. I don't judge anyone who.has plastic surgery to try and stave off the inevitable effects of getting older if it makes them feel.better. But all too often it doesn't and the pressure to remain young looking is a tyranny as nobody can look and remain young for long.
Her own daughter tried and was ignored.
Why should they? She was paying for flattery so she got what she paid for.
I think many women have a bullshit sensor when it comes to false flattery....obviously not the women who are taken in online, but they are in the minority (hopefully)
I agree that compliments (genuine) can be very nice, I tend to compliment people in real life, and if I do, I also genuinely mean it.
If people want to have surgery in attempts to hang onto their youth, that's their business, good luck to them, sometimes it can work for a while. What I do hate to see is the way so many young women are altering their faces by having lip fillers, God knows what they are aiming for, but the Katie Price look doesn't suit anyone....even her.
I also think womens worse critics are other women...it's like they can't bare for other women to be lovely.
I have a two friends who've just lost their husbands, one to death, one to divorce, and they both said that being the age they are at with no partner to love them terrifies them. They are absolutely lost. So it's not about having men gawp at you. That's not my point. Who wants to be gawped at, at any age? It's more about having a mind that still feels young and a body that's aging and letting you down. And I don't care what anyone says, you do become invisible at a certain age. That's a fact not just my opinion. You're lucky that it doesn't affect you but your family situation is stable. There are many women, and men, out there who live alone.
Maybe I am not normal then, but I don't feel invisible, neither in my personal life or in society.
I can understand your 2 friends feeling lost, being single after being married for many years , especially if your partner dies, must be a huge shock.
However, one of my best friends was widowed a few years ago, after 40 odd years of a mostly contented marriage, and she has never been happier.
It takes all sorts.
Some people can cope and others can't. There is no 'normal'. It's just that we're different. And until it happens to you who can say how we'd react? I'm a strong believer in not living your life being totally dependant on your partner for happiness. You have to be your own person. With your own interests. And capable of living independently if you have to. But that won't necessarily assuage your grief or loneliness. You don't quite bounce back as you get older like you did when younger. Add to that financial difficulties and you've got a horrible situation.
I would be lost, I don't kid myself. We have been together for 50 years, never been apart, and I know my attitude to how I still feel valued and not invisible, has a lot to do with him and our relationship.
So did I as when girls are younger men sense they feel more vulnerable and their behaviour goes beyond looking. I was scared of male attention in my early teens. When I was 14 a Pakistani man approached me in the street and asked me to get a coffee. I didn't even drink coffee at that age but said yes as I was flustered. I live in a small coastal town which was practically all white back then and this behaviour was NOT the done thing. He asked to take me clubbing, insisting it was not a "school night" so he knew my age. I left my coffee untouched and said I must leave after half an hour of him badgering. He knew I was uncomfortable.
An elderly man also flashed at me when I was 16,walking alone. When I was with friends we would giggle about the whistles and comments but looking back we were in school uniform and these men were not young. I can't pretend I will enjoy becoming invisible as I age but that's because I take it as a compliment. When girls are younger male attention seems more insidious. It's all about control.
I love this post. Two halves of a whole, right there
Plus your chap is actually cooking for you until you’re back on your feet. Mine would have had extreme panic attacks anywhere near an oven dial, and had take-out delivery services on speed dial.
Feel free to send yours over to me, when you’ve binned the crutches. I’ll only keep him for as long as it takes him to fill the freezer - promise! 😂
I think on the surface, mens behaviour towards females has improved.
Most women of a certain age remember being flashed at...(three times in my case, once when I was a kid of around 10) being groped, (I slapped a couple of mens faces hard, thankfully none retaliated, I think in today's world they might) cat calling and wolf whistling was part and parcel of life. I remember the last dance in many dance halls when I was a teenager, too polite to refuse, unfortunately they were not polite enough to stop their erection prodding into my groin.....nightmare times when I think back....oh, and there was no such thing as men raping their wives, it was their right.
My son and grandsons would be appalled at behaviour like that now, when my son was a student he worked on a building site...cat calling after women could be a sacking offence, so it didn't happen.
So how come now there is so much misogyny about, I had never heard of the word incel till fairly recently, and rape increases are soaring.
Are the type of men who openly casually abused women in the past, now the men who seethe inwardly, and their hatred or fear of women is being displayed more insidiously, as you said?
Number of rape offences in England and Wales 2002-2024
Rape offences have increased dramatically in England and Wales since 2012/13 when there were 16,038 offences. After this year, rape offences increased substantially, reaching a high of 69,973 offences in the 2021/22 reporting year, before falling slightly to 68,949 in 2022/23, and to 67,928 in 2023/24. When 2023/24 is compared with the 2002/03 reporting year, there was an almost sixfold increase in the number of rape offences recorded by the police in England and Wales.