A girlfriend subjected her partner to a regime of terror during which she bullied, belittled and humiliated him over his weight, hair, sex drive and even his breath.
Mother-of-six Sarah Rigby, 41, forced her NHS project manager Gareth Jones to eat salad, wear a hat and swallow toothpaste and mouthwash in the wrongful belief he was fat, bald and had halitosis.
During their abusive six-month relationship, the student nurse even taunted Jones, 40, over his sexual performance and threatened: 'If I'm not pregnant this month, I am going to find someone else to have sex with.'
At Chester Crown Court, Mr Jones bravely told how he was driven to the brink of suicide by the abuse as Rigby, admitted to coercive behaviour.
She was handed a 20 months jail sentence suspended for two years and banned from contacting him or his parents for five years under a restraining order.
Under Rigby's regime, he would also have to forfeit his £4,000 a month wage and allowed her to check his mobile phone on demand.
He even resorted to giving his own mother a 'duress code' to indicate when it was safe for them to speak without his lover listening in.
In one row Jones was hit in face by a glass candle holder leaving him with a scar across his nose.
In other instances, Mr Jones, who moved in with Rigby after meeting on Plenty of Fish, was thrown out of her house in Winsford, Cheshire whilst dressed only in his underwear.
During one tirade, Rigby told him: 'I may not control social services, but I can control you and I am loving it.' She also called him 'fat', 'lazy', 'sweaty', 'a whale', 'dopey', 'thick', 'smelly' and a 'dog' during other temper tantrums.
In mitigation, defence counsel Jade Tufail said Rigby had been diagnosed with PTSD due to an undisclosed 'trauma' she suffered in her childhood.
Maddog said
May 28 2:26 PM, 2024
She can't be that good in bed. 🙄
He's not a boy. He should be fined for being a dumbass..
Magica said
May 28 4:36 PM, 2024
Oh so the old PTSD fault. Rubbish she's an abuser. If it had been the other way round, he would have got prison.
Abuse is the same no matter who is causing it.
What a nasty, narssitic bitch!
Digger said
May 28 4:43 PM, 2024
Maddog wrote:
She can't be that good in bed. 🙄
He's not a boy. He should be fined for being a dumbass..
Most blokes would have been out the door at the first insult.
Syl said
May 28 4:49 PM, 2024
Digger wrote:
Maddog wrote:
She can't be that good in bed. 🙄
He's not a boy. He should be fined for being a dumbass..
Most blokes would have been out the door at the first insult.
Most blokes would be right, just as most women would be right not to stay 2 minutes with such an abusive partner.
Sadly some do, for various reasons.
I agree with Magica, abuse is abuse, it's just that women are treated with sympathy whilst men are told to 'man up'.
Maddog said
May 28 5:57 PM, 2024
Syl wrote:
Digger wrote:
Maddog wrote:
She can't be that good in bed. 🙄
He's not a boy. He should be fined for being a dumbass..
Most blokes would have been out the door at the first insult.
Most blokes would be right, just as most women would be right not to stay 2 minutes with such an abusive partner.
Sadly some do, for various reasons.
I agree with Magica, abuse is abuse, it's just that women are treated with sympathy whilst men are told to 'man up'.
I get it when your younger, maybe have kids and the abuse slowly gets worse.
This dude was 40 and it appears the abuse came right from the git go.
He liked it to some degree.
-- Edited by Maddog on Tuesday 28th of May 2024 05:59:40 PM
Syl said
May 28 6:20 PM, 2024
Maddog wrote:
Syl wrote:
Digger wrote:
Maddog wrote:
She can't be that good in bed. 🙄
He's not a boy. He should be fined for being a dumbass..
Most blokes would have been out the door at the first insult.
Most blokes would be right, just as most women would be right not to stay 2 minutes with such an abusive partner.
Sadly some do, for various reasons.
I agree with Magica, abuse is abuse, it's just that women are treated with sympathy whilst men are told to 'man up'.
I get it when your younger, maybe have kids and the abuse slowly gets worse.
This dude was 40 and it appears the abuse came right from the git go.
He liked it to some degree.
-- Edited by Maddog on Tuesday 28th of May 2024 05:59:40 PM
Do you think adult women 'like it' when they stay with an abusive partner too?
Maddog said
May 28 6:38 PM, 2024
Syl wrote:
Maddog wrote:
Syl wrote:
Digger wrote:
Maddog wrote:
She can't be that good in bed. 🙄
He's not a boy. He should be fined for being a dumbass..
Most blokes would have been out the door at the first insult.
Most blokes would be right, just as most women would be right not to stay 2 minutes with such an abusive partner.
Sadly some do, for various reasons.
I agree with Magica, abuse is abuse, it's just that women are treated with sympathy whilst men are told to 'man up'.
I get it when your younger, maybe have kids and the abuse slowly gets worse.
This dude was 40 and it appears the abuse came right from the git go.
He liked it to some degree.
-- Edited by Maddog on Tuesday 28th of May 2024 05:59:40 PM
Do you think adult women 'like it' when they stay with an abusive partner too?
Possibly. If a 40 year old woman finds a man that abuses her and sticks around for more abuse, she might like it. Especially if she's not financially dependent on him and nor had kids with him.
This reminds me of conversations we had about Phil. At some point, you have to expect grown ass adults to make better decisions in regards to destructive behavior.
This guy had control over the situation and chose to do nothing about it. Many women lack the same level of control. They are often dependent. That's a big difference .
Maddog said
May 28 6:41 PM, 2024
And yes, I'll tell men to man up. That doesn't mean taking abuse. Sometimes it means walking away. Especially from a very short term relationship with a crazy bitch.
This dumb ass dude isn't emotionally ready for a relationship.
He needs to be single awhile..
Syl said
May 28 7:43 PM, 2024
I agree it's hard to understand why someone would stay in a relationship with an abuser if they had just met, but we are not in their shoes.
I doubt any woman who has children to an abuser stays because she likes it....she stays because she is dependant and probably scared.
It gets more complicated if there are no kids involved, and no doubt every case is different,
I know you, and also me, would NOT stick around to be abused, but just because we are made that way, I wouldn't think someone else who DID stick around was pathetic....I would think they were initially in love, then ground down, frightened, intimidated, and probably depressed.
This man in the OP, was pretty brave imo. His girlfriend was so emotionally and physically abusive to him he was on the brink of killing himself, yet he eventually found the strength to fight back and win.
Digger said
May 28 7:49 PM, 2024
Maddog wrote:
Syl wrote:
Maddog wrote:
Syl wrote:
Digger wrote:
Maddog wrote:
She can't be that good in bed. 🙄
He's not a boy. He should be fined for being a dumbass..
Most blokes would have been out the door at the first insult.
Most blokes would be right, just as most women would be right not to stay 2 minutes with such an abusive partner.
Sadly some do, for various reasons.
I agree with Magica, abuse is abuse, it's just that women are treated with sympathy whilst men are told to 'man up'.
I get it when your younger, maybe have kids and the abuse slowly gets worse.
This dude was 40 and it appears the abuse came right from the git go.
He liked it to some degree.
-- Edited by Maddog on Tuesday 28th of May 2024 05:59:40 PM
Do you think adult women 'like it' when they stay with an abusive partner too?
Possibly. If a 40 year old woman finds a man that abuses her and sticks around for more abuse, she might like it. Especially if she's not financially dependent on him and nor had kids with him.
This reminds me of conversations we had about Phil. At some point, you have to expect grown ass adults to make better decisions in regards to destructive behavior.
This guy had control over the situation and chose to do nothing about it. Many women lack the same level of control. They are often dependent. That's a big difference .
What's more truthful is that many women hope things will get better. They live under the delusion that they can heal that person, that if they persevere, he'll stop the violence and be healed by her love. The other scenario is she has nowhere else to go, no independence or job or means of income, or she has kids, or her family situation is not supportive as in an arranged marriage. Then there are the women who are so conditioned and subjugated that they simply don't have the emotional strength to leave because the bullying and violence has become their 'normal'.
Either way, it's often not that easy.
Magica said
May 28 8:30 PM, 2024
I totally agree Digs. It's not as clear cut as people think. There's alot involved. It's not a case of packing up and leaving either.
This man prob thought, as many do, it will get better. It doesn't, it gets far worse. Good thing is he left. Now her face and i.d is known, I doubt any bloke will go near her, or maybe a one night stand.
Maddog said
May 28 8:43 PM, 2024
Digger wrote:
Maddog wrote:
Syl wrote:
Maddog wrote:
Syl wrote:
Digger wrote:
Maddog wrote:
She can't be that good in bed. 🙄
He's not a boy. He should be fined for being a dumbass..
Most blokes would have been out the door at the first insult.
Most blokes would be right, just as most women would be right not to stay 2 minutes with such an abusive partner.
Sadly some do, for various reasons.
I agree with Magica, abuse is abuse, it's just that women are treated with sympathy whilst men are told to 'man up'.
I get it when your younger, maybe have kids and the abuse slowly gets worse.
This dude was 40 and it appears the abuse came right from the git go.
He liked it to some degree.
-- Edited by Maddog on Tuesday 28th of May 2024 05:59:40 PM
Do you think adult women 'like it' when they stay with an abusive partner too?
Possibly. If a 40 year old woman finds a man that abuses her and sticks around for more abuse, she might like it. Especially if she's not financially dependent on him and nor had kids with him.
This reminds me of conversations we had about Phil. At some point, you have to expect grown ass adults to make better decisions in regards to destructive behavior.
This guy had control over the situation and chose to do nothing about it. Many women lack the same level of control. They are often dependent. That's a big difference .
What's more truthful is that many women hope things will get better. They live under the delusion that they can heal that person, that if they persevere, he'll stop the violence and be healed by her love. The other scenario is she has nowhere else to go, no independence or job or means of income, or she has kids, or her family situation is not supportive as in an arranged marriage. Then there are the women who are so conditioned and subjugated that they simply don't have the emotional strength to leave because the bullying and violence has become their 'normal'.
Either way, it's often not that easy.
It's not easy for an 18 year person. I get that.
By the time you are 40, you should be emotionally prepared to walk away from a NEW abusive relationship, unless as you say, there is some sort of financial dependency..
The guy in this story was a well employed 40 year old that entered into a relationship and began being abused.
He needs help or he will repeat the same destructive behavior.
We can't remove all of the hot stoves because some people insist on putting their hands on them to see what happens.
Digger said
May 28 9:57 PM, 2024
Maddog wrote:
Digger wrote:
What's more truthful is that many women hope things will get better. They live under the delusion that they can heal that person, that if they persevere, he'll stop the violence and be healed by her love. The other scenario is she has nowhere else to go, no independence or job or means of income, or she has kids, or her family situation is not supportive as in an arranged marriage. Then there are the women who are so conditioned and subjugated that they simply don't have the emotional strength to leave because the bullying and violence has become their 'normal'.
Either way, it's often not that easy.
It's not easy for an 18 year person. I get that.
By the time you are 40, you should be emotionally prepared to walk away from a NEW abusive relationship, unless as you say, there is some sort of financial dependency..
The guy in this story was a well employed 40 year old that entered into a relationship and began being abused.
He needs help or he will repeat the same destructive behavior.
We can't remove all of the hot stoves because some people insist on putting their hands on them to see what happens.
I agree there comes a time in your life when you have to make a stand. But getting there sometimes, for some people, you really have to reach rock bottom.
Anonymous said
Jun 2 5:47 PM, 2024
Digger wrote:
.... Mother-of-six Sarah Rigby, 41, forced her NHS project manager Gareth Jones to eat salad, wear a hat and swallow toothpaste and mouthwash in the wrongful belief he was fat, bald and had halitosis.
During their ... six-month relationship, the student nurse even taunted Jones, 40, over his sexual performance and threatened: 'If I'm not pregnant this month, I am going to find someone else to have sex with.'
... She was handed a 20 months jail sentence...
An NHS project manager who is unable to determine whether he is overweight, bald and had bad breath .... this is ridiculous. Either the guy should have been sacked or this is a fiction. The woman was a year older than him, had six children and was also training to be a NURSE.
He was an NHS project manager and she was a trainee nurse - this screams red flags of someone in a position of authority taking advantage of an underling in the work environment.
Anonymous said
Jun 2 6:00 PM, 2024
Digger wrote:
A girlfriend subjected her partner to a regime of terror ... forced to eat salad, wear a hat and use toothpaste and mouthwash .... She was handed a 20 months jail sentence ....
Forced to eat salad, wear a hat and use mouthwash - a 20 month jail sentence is far too lenient !!!
A girlfriend subjected her partner to a regime of terror during which she bullied, belittled and humiliated him over his weight, hair, sex drive and even his breath.
Mother-of-six Sarah Rigby, 41, forced her NHS project manager Gareth Jones to eat salad, wear a hat and swallow toothpaste and mouthwash in the wrongful belief he was fat, bald and had halitosis.
During their abusive six-month relationship, the student nurse even taunted Jones, 40, over his sexual performance and threatened: 'If I'm not pregnant this month, I am going to find someone else to have sex with.'
At Chester Crown Court, Mr Jones bravely told how he was driven to the brink of suicide by the abuse as Rigby, admitted to coercive behaviour.
She was handed a 20 months jail sentence suspended for two years and banned from contacting him or his parents for five years under a restraining order.
Under Rigby's regime, he would also have to forfeit his £4,000 a month wage and allowed her to check his mobile phone on demand.
He even resorted to giving his own mother a 'duress code' to indicate when it was safe for them to speak without his lover listening in.
In one row Jones was hit in face by a glass candle holder leaving him with a scar across his nose.
In other instances, Mr Jones, who moved in with Rigby after meeting on Plenty of Fish, was thrown out of her house in Winsford, Cheshire whilst dressed only in his underwear.
During one tirade, Rigby told him: 'I may not control social services, but I can control you and I am loving it.' She also called him 'fat', 'lazy', 'sweaty', 'a whale', 'dopey', 'thick', 'smelly' and a 'dog' during other temper tantrums.
In mitigation, defence counsel Jade Tufail said Rigby had been diagnosed with PTSD due to an undisclosed 'trauma' she suffered in her childhood.
He's not a boy. He should be fined for being a dumbass..
Abuse is the same no matter who is causing it.
What a nasty, narssitic bitch!
Most blokes would have been out the door at the first insult.
Most blokes would be right, just as most women would be right not to stay 2 minutes with such an abusive partner.
Sadly some do, for various reasons.
I agree with Magica, abuse is abuse, it's just that women are treated with sympathy whilst men are told to 'man up'.
I get it when your younger, maybe have kids and the abuse slowly gets worse.
This dude was 40 and it appears the abuse came right from the git go.
He liked it to some degree.
-- Edited by Maddog on Tuesday 28th of May 2024 05:59:40 PM
Do you think adult women 'like it' when they stay with an abusive partner too?
Possibly. If a 40 year old woman finds a man that abuses her and sticks around for more abuse, she might like it. Especially if she's not financially dependent on him and nor had kids with him.
This reminds me of conversations we had about Phil. At some point, you have to expect grown ass adults to make better decisions in regards to destructive behavior.
This guy had control over the situation and chose to do nothing about it. Many women lack the same level of control. They are often dependent. That's a big difference .
This dumb ass dude isn't emotionally ready for a relationship.
He needs to be single awhile..
I doubt any woman who has children to an abuser stays because she likes it....she stays because she is dependant and probably scared.
It gets more complicated if there are no kids involved, and no doubt every case is different,
I know you, and also me, would NOT stick around to be abused, but just because we are made that way, I wouldn't think someone else who DID stick around was pathetic....I would think they were initially in love, then ground down, frightened, intimidated, and probably depressed.
This man in the OP, was pretty brave imo. His girlfriend was so emotionally and physically abusive to him he was on the brink of killing himself, yet he eventually found the strength to fight back and win.
What's more truthful is that many women hope things will get better. They live under the delusion that they can heal that person, that if they persevere, he'll stop the violence and be healed by her love. The other scenario is she has nowhere else to go, no independence or job or means of income, or she has kids, or her family situation is not supportive as in an arranged marriage. Then there are the women who are so conditioned and subjugated that they simply don't have the emotional strength to leave because the bullying and violence has become their 'normal'.
Either way, it's often not that easy.
This man prob thought, as many do, it will get better. It doesn't, it gets far worse. Good thing is he left. Now her face and i.d is known, I doubt any bloke will go near her, or maybe a one night stand.
It's not easy for an 18 year person. I get that.
By the time you are 40, you should be emotionally prepared to walk away from a NEW abusive relationship, unless as you say, there is some sort of financial dependency..
The guy in this story was a well employed 40 year old that entered into a relationship and began being abused.
He needs help or he will repeat the same destructive behavior.
We can't remove all of the hot stoves because some people insist on putting their hands on them to see what happens.
I agree there comes a time in your life when you have to make a stand. But getting there sometimes, for some people, you really have to reach rock bottom.
An NHS project manager who is unable to determine whether he is overweight, bald and had bad breath .... this is ridiculous. Either the guy should have been sacked or this is a fiction. The woman was a year older than him, had six children and was also training to be a NURSE.
He was an NHS project manager and she was a trainee nurse - this screams red flags of someone in a position of authority taking advantage of an underling in the work environment.
Forced to eat salad, wear a hat and use mouthwash - a 20 month jail sentence is far too lenient !!!