ChaoticMusings

Vam wrote:

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Which of these, if any, have you been known to say?

https://geediting.com/dan-10-phrases-deeply-selfish-people-use-in-everyday-conversation/

🤷🏻‍♀️ Personally, I see no problem with #1 (but not if it means refusing to help out someone in need). 
 
Definitely no prob with #5 either!  😂

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 No I don't associate with these, I must be strange lol 😋

Magica wrote:

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Vam wrote:

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... do you have anyone of these in your life?

https://vegoutmag.com/lifestyle/dna-8-types-of-people-that-are-just-not-worth-keeping-in-touch-with/

There’s definitely a #5 and a #8 in my circle of friends 

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 Oh I clicked on but it don't come up  Vam. 🤔

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 Oops…it works when I click on it, Mags  Hang on a mo’ and I’ll try reposting the link again ….  🤞🏻🤞🏻

https://vegoutmag.com/lifestyle/dna-8-types-of-people-that-are-just-not-worth-keeping-in-touch-with/ 

Vam wrote:

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Which of these, if any, have you been known to say?

https://geediting.com/dan-10-phrases-deeply-selfish-people-use-in-everyday-conversation/

🤷🏻‍♀️ Personally, I see no problem with #1 (but not if it means refusing to help out someone in need). 
 
Definitely no prob with #5 either!  😂

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 I might have said them all at least once in my life.

I have said number 4, but not in that context. I have had people do things for me that I never wanted, nor were of any benefit to me, but were used by the people doing something for me, to shame me into doing something for them..

Syl wrote:

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Maddog wrote:

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I have said number 4, but not in that context. I have had people do things for me that I never wanted, nor were of any benefit to me, but were used by the people doing something for me, to shame me into doing something for them..

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 I hate that feeling of being beholden to someone. I think it's one reason why so many women, especially nowadays, but I was always like this even when young, didn't want a man paying for me when I was out with him, I liked to pay my way till the relationship moved on.

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 Yup.

 

My ex wife would go shopping and buy me clothes or whatever, when I didn't need them and money was tight.  She would get upset when I told her doing something for me would be leaving the money in the bank so the end off the month wasn't so stressful for me..

Syl wrote:

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Vam wrote:

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Which of these, if any, have you been known to say?

https://geediting.com/dan-10-phrases-deeply-selfish-people-use-in-everyday-conversation/

🤷🏻‍♀️ Personally, I see no problem with #1 (but not if it means refusing to help out someone in need). 
 
Definitely no prob with #5 either!  😂

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 I might have said them all at least once in my life.

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  Glad it’s not just me! 

Vam wrote:

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Maddog wrote:

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I have said number 4, but not in that context. I have had people do things for me that I never wanted, nor were of any benefit to me, but were used by the people doing something for me, to shame me into doing something for them..

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 Classic guilt-tripping 101 

So the question is, are you then shamed into doing something for them in return?

(I’m betting ‘Nope’ )

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 I tried to keep the peace with mixed results..

 

A spousel unit is a different kettle of fish..

Vam wrote:

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Magica wrote:

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Vam wrote:

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Magica wrote:

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Vam wrote:

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... do you have anyone of these in your life?

https://vegoutmag.com/lifestyle/dna-8-types-of-people-that-are-just-not-worth-keeping-in-touch-with/

There’s definitely a #5 and a #8 in my circle of friends 

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 Oh I clicked on but it don't come up  Vam. 🤔

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 Oops…it works when I click on it, Mags  Hang on a mo’ and I’ll try reposting the link again ….  🤞🏻🤞🏻

https://vegoutmag.com/lifestyle/dna-8-types-of-people-that-are-just-not-worth-keeping-in-touch-with/ 

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 Thanks Vam, I did.it.  Mine is 1 and 8. 

I had a friend for many years,  that no matter my prob, turned it round to her.  She always said she was ill, loved being ill.  When we parted friends I had such a weight lifted off me.  She drained me for years because I just felt rotten if I left, so stayed when other friends left.  They told me they couldn't put.up with her, but I felt sorry for her.  I was her friend, she wasn't mine.  Took me years to realise that even after my friends told me.  

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 A couple of our friends are SO done with our #8, Mags. So much so, that they’ll deliberately keep their distance as far from her as possible whenever we all get together.

Similar to your #8, dealing with mine can be like pushing a boulder up a hill. Her whole vibe is an envious ‘Yeah well, it’s alright for YOU…‘, plus lots of weary sighing. And like yours, any minor illness/cold/bug we mention - guaranteed she’s had it a million times worse. 

You picked exactly the right word - all the subliminal guilt-tripping is draining!

Thing is, unlike my other friends, I’m still not ready to cut her loose just yet. She’s had a few very bad breaks in life, and I do feel for her about that. Also, when she gets her head out of her own arse and just relaxes a bit, she can be a good laugh.

That doesn’t happen too often, but often enough for me to still give a damn about her 🤷🏻‍♀️

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 Sooner or later you will move on.  I never dumped her, I wanted to but like you Vam I couldn't do it. I felt I would hurt her.   She did me after everything. Never spared my feelings.   Had nothing in common she said, after 30yrs lol.

I was sad for a long time, but realised I felt more energised.  Her poor me  sucked the life out of me and I felt like a dead battery.  I'm glad now, she did me a favour that  I couldn't do myself.

Syl wrote:

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Digger wrote:

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I don't really use any of those. I'm a fuck off, you arsehole, kinda gal.

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 I think you have to give people a chance. 

My yardstick is resentment, as soon as I feel resentful that someone is taking a lot more than they are giving, I have no qualms in finishing a relationship, and once finished, that's it.

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 Yep.  One might not say fuck off you arsehole and don't come back but one certainly thinks it.