ChaoticMusings

Digger · Admin

Mrs. Butterworth's syrup bottle

Digger · Admin

I think that might start a new phrasing trend.

"It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets Mrs Butterworth's syrup bottle again!"

John Doe · Still Here!

Digger wrote:

I think that might start a new phrasing trend.

"It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets Mrs Butterworth's syrup bottle again!"

Poor Mrs Butterworth!

Syl · FIRM BUT FAIR.

Eeeeew.

Date: Mar 19 1:11 AM, 2021

In the progressive society is it right to laugh at these unfortunate incidents? You could be in the kitchen wearing a night robe or a towel after emerging from a bath. You go to make yourself a small night meal, but you knock something over onto the floor and then you slip and land awkwardly. It could happen to anyone. Surely.

Syl · FIRM BUT FAIR.

Anonymous wrote:
In the progressive society is it right to laugh at these unfortunate incidents? You could be in the kitchen wearing a night robe or a towel after emerging from a bath. You go to make yourself a small night meal, but you knock something over onto the floor and then you slip and land awkwardly. It could happen to anyone. Surely.

And God forbid one would land on a snooker cue.

Digger · Admin

Anonymous wrote:
In the progressive society is it right to laugh at these unfortunate incidents? You could be in the kitchen wearing a night robe or a towel after emerging from a bath. You go to make yourself a small night meal, but you knock something over onto the floor and then you slip and land awkwardly. It could happen to anyone. Surely.

Oh, fuck off, Dean

Digger · Admin

Syl wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
In the progressive society is it right to laugh at these unfortunate incidents? You could be in the kitchen wearing a night robe or a towel after emerging from a bath. You go to make yourself a small night meal, but you knock something over onto the floor and then you slip and land awkwardly. It could happen to anyone. Surely.
And God forbid one would land on a snooker cue.

I have a true story about this scenario. An ex of mine used to work on the roads, laying tarmac etc. They were using a variety of tools, including pickaxes. Some wag left one of the pickaxes upright leaning against a wall. One of the workers sat on the wall and the point of the pickaxe went right up his arse. Poor lad ended up with a damaged bowel. The guy's name was Stanley Udders, and unfortunately, this made me see the funny side. From then on, one's anus in our family is always known your Stanley Udders.

Date: Mar 19 3:47 PM, 2021

Has anybody seen Pulp Fiction? There is a scene in the film where an ex POW, played by Christoper Walken, visits a young boy and tells him a story about a gold watch.

Syl · FIRM BUT FAIR.

Digger wrote:
Syl wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
In the progressive society is it right to laugh at these unfortunate incidents? You could be in the kitchen wearing a night robe or a towel after emerging from a bath. You go to make yourself a small night meal, but you knock something over onto the floor and then you slip and land awkwardly. It could happen to anyone. Surely.
And God forbid one would land on a snooker cue.
I have a true story about this scenario. An ex of mine used to work on the roads, laying tarmac etc. They were using a variety of tools, including pickaxes. Some wag left one of the pickaxes upright leaning against a wall. One of the workers sat on the wall and the point of the pickaxe went right up his arse. Poor lad ended up with a damaged bowel. The guy's name was Stanley Udders, and unfortunately, this made me see the funny side. From then on, one's anus in our family is always known your Stanley Udders.

Sometimes something about a truly horrendous happening can make us laugh.

I remember a woman once who was telling us about a horrible accident she had seen where a heavy boarding had fell on a passer by's head and killed her.

She couldn't finish the story for laughing.

Digger · Admin

Syl wrote:
Digger wrote:
Syl wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
In the progressive society is it right to laugh at these unfortunate incidents? You could be in the kitchen wearing a night robe or a towel after emerging from a bath. You go to make yourself a small night meal, but you knock something over onto the floor and then you slip and land awkwardly. It could happen to anyone. Surely.
And God forbid one would land on a snooker cue.
I have a true story about this scenario. An ex of mine used to work on the roads, laying tarmac etc. They were using a variety of tools, including pickaxes. Some wag left one of the pickaxes upright leaning against a wall. One of the workers sat on the wall and the point of the pickaxe went right up his arse. Poor lad ended up with a damaged bowel. The guy's name was Stanley Udders, and unfortunately, this made me see the funny side. From then on, one's anus in our family is always known your Stanley Udders.
Sometimes something about a truly horrendous happening can make us laugh.

I remember a woman once who was telling us about a horrible accident she had seen where a heavy boarding had fell on a passer by's head and killed her.
She couldn't finish the story for laughing.

It's like when you read about people dying when a pig fell on them from a neighbour's balcony.

Syl · FIRM BUT FAIR.

I dont think I have read that one.:fluffy:

Date: Mar 20 10:57 AM, 2021

This is a technique some use to get items in and out of prison and through customs. It requires special training and practice. We need more information to determine what led to the above cases.

Syl · FIRM BUT FAIR.

Anonymous wrote:
This is a technique some use to get items in and out of prison and through customs. It requires special training and practice. We need more information to determine what led to the above cases.

Pervert,

John Doe · Still Here!

Such accidents happen very easily - I got a python stuck up my arse once although to be fair afterwards Eric Idle could not have been more of a gentleman about it.

Syl · FIRM BUT FAIR.

You certainly know how to kill a thread JD.

John Doe · Still Here!

Syl wrote:
You certainly know how to kill a thread JD.

It's a gift!

Digger · Admin

Syl wrote:
You certainly know how to kill a thread JD.

John Doe · Still Here!

Digger wrote:
Syl wrote:
You certainly know how to kill a thread JD.

Maddog · Go Outside

A Waco woman who police said packed a loaded pistol in her vagina has been sentenced to probation after she pleaded guilty to drug possession.

Ashley Cecilia Castaneda, 33, was sentenced to 10 years on deferred probation for methamphetamine possession.

She was also fined $2,500.

Castaneda and a male companion were arrested on Sept. 7, 2015 after officers pulled over a 1998 Toyota Land Rover at North 15th and Blair Avenue, within 1,000 feet of West Elementary School.

Officers found 2.7 grams of methamphetamine hidden under the driver’s seat of the vehicle and another 29.9 grams of meth in a purse, along with a set of digital scales.

As police were taking the two to jail, Castaneda told an officer she had a handgun concealed inside her vagina, Sgt. W. Patrick Swanton said at the time.

“Officers immediately stopped and a female officer searched Castaneda discovering she had in fact placed a loaded Smith and Wesson pistol inside her body cavity. The weapon had a round chambered and a full magazine of bullets,” Swanton said.

Swanton said he did not know if the gun's safety was on when it was recovered.