ChaoticMusings

👏🏻👏🏻 Excellent! Long overdue.

Oh I doubt it will be just one doctor. Has to be discussed with the family I reckon.

Also they must be dying before they are aided, not just because they're depressed. Or a illness like locked in. Can't eat, drink, move only hear. Oh god that must be a nightmare, as they did later anyway.

Some Lords intend to fight the bill, they may well not let it through. I don't think there is enough safeguards regarding coercion but what bill would be able to prevent that? Many people with terminal illness have said they are undecided about whether they want assisted dying but they would like to know they have the choice, for peace of mind. I understand that. What does trouble me is people who are determined to end their lives sometimes change their mind and once they swallow that pill it's too late. I get its different for people who only have six months to live and have to endure constant unbearable pain. But the first thing the bill demands is the individual must be of "sound mind". Is someone facing death in terrible pain, not to mention being administered a cocktail of meds, truly capable of being of sound mind or at least being completely sure of their choice? Many doctors will dispute that. This battle is far from over.

I hadn't really thought about it that way but you're right Digger. I envy people who are truly religious in a way because they are sure something exists after death. I think that's unlikely but obviously no body is in a position to rule it out completely. I think we would all give anything to see our loved ones who have passed again. I would like to know if others believe it's possible something exists when we pass away, even if its not something spiritual in the traditional sense.

Syl wrote:

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Digger wrote:

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There's a lot of stigma over death. We treat it as though its some disaster we can avoid. We can't. It's as much a part of life as being born and we all go through it. No healthy person wants to die. But our attitude to it is it's some kind of curse to be feared and keeping people alive long beyond their time and often in pain, is not good. It's about time things changed.

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 Death is so final, I think I am more bothered about the deaths of people I love more than my own.

But having seen someone I love suffer for  a long time at the end of life , a peaceful end was a blessing not a curse.

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 I think too, that a lot of fear around death is from leaving your loved ones.  That really freaks me out.  I'm not scared of dying, but I'd be devastated to leave those who love me and me them and to feel and see their grief.    James Whale has two weeks left to live and he says he cries every day because he doesn't want to leave his loved ones. 

Digger wrote:

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Syl wrote:

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Digger wrote:

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There's a lot of stigma over death. We treat it as though its some disaster we can avoid. We can't. It's as much a part of life as being born and we all go through it. No healthy person wants to die. But our attitude to it is it's some kind of curse to be feared and keeping people alive long beyond their time and often in pain, is not good. It's about time things changed.

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 Death is so final, I think I am more bothered about the deaths of people I love more than my own.

But having seen someone I love suffer for  a long time at the end of life , a peaceful end was a blessing not a curse.

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 I think too, that a lot of fear around death is from leaving your loved ones.  That really freaks me out.  I'm not scared of dying, but I'd be devastated to leave those who love me and me them and to feel and see their grief.    James Whale has two weeks left to live and he says he cries every day because he doesn't want to leave his loved ones. 

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 I‘ve just read about his terminal prognosis… “I’m heading into the sunset.”…. 😢 

I‘m convinced my quietly determined mamma decided for herself when the time was right for her. The debilitating terrible symptoms of her terminal illness in those last couple of weeks, were traumatic and deeply humiliating for her. 

I remember her looking me squarely in the eyes and she quietly said, “No, darling. If this is how it has to be until the end, then - no. This is not how I want you to remember me….”

The following morning, I had a meeting with a hospice nurse who then visited mamma at the hospital. She chatted and politely smiled at the nurse throughout the visit - lots of nodding in agreement and ’thank yous’. Arrangements were made to transfer her to hospice for palliative care the following day. 

That afternoon she held my hand, but was clearly in some pain. Morphine was administered and she drifted off for a while. At around 6pm, she briefly opened her eyes and smiled at me. Closed them again - and she was finally at peace. I truly believe she had decided not to bother with palliative care.

I realise not everyone battling end-stage terminal illness is physically able to decide when their suffering should come to an end.

But provided all the right medical diagnosis/interviews/investigation protocols, etc, are in place, this Bill should bring a blessed relief to many patients and their loved ones.

Syl wrote:

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I'm glad your mums suffering wasn't prolonged Vam, that must have been a great comfort for you.
It's true, no one wants to be remembered as bed ridden and helpless. If this bill aids people to choose to stop that, at least for a few months, it's good.

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Thanks, Syl x  Selfishly, I wanted her to fight to stay alive for as long as possible.

But those last couple of weeks were just too humiliating for her. I think her sheer force of will resulted in outcome she wanted… kinda like  ‘Nope. I love you. But I really am done now...’

 

Anonymous wrote:

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Your mother sounded very brave Vam. She didn't want you to see her lose her dignity and as you say it sounds as if she had made her peace with going. That was a very touching post, and I thankyou for sharing it xx My father had no idea he was so ill, he had breathing problems that day but he often did. The doctors decided he did not need oxygen in the house. They were wrong. He attended a hospital appointment that day, even drove there and my Mum noticed his breathing was more laboured than usual. But she still had no idea it was his time. I remember him squeezing my hand and smiling. It was a lovely smile and thats how I remember him. He must have known what was happening as he managed to tell my younger brother "you're the man of the house now". He passed peacefully a day later, his favourite music on his headphones and all of his family around him.

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 The best way to go imo...peacefully, surrounded by family. x

Syl wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Your mother sounded very brave Vam. She didn't want you to see her lose her dignity and as you say it sounds as if she had made her peace with going. That was a very touching post, and I thankyou for sharing it xx My father had no idea he was so ill, he had breathing problems that day but he often did. The doctors decided he did not need oxygen in the house. They were wrong. He attended a hospital appointment that day, even drove there and my Mum noticed his breathing was more laboured than usual. But she still had no idea it was his time. I remember him squeezing my hand and smiling. It was a lovely smile and thats how I remember him. He must have known what was happening as he managed to tell my younger brother "you're the man of the house now". He passed peacefully a day later, his favourite music on his headphones and all of his family around him.

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 The best way to go imo...peacefully, surrounded by family. x

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 Amen to that! 

Except, only the ‘peacefully’ part could apply in my case, given that the few family members I have left are scattered all around the globe. So the best I can hope for when my time’s up, is to just peacefully slip away in my sleep 🤞🏻