ChaoticMusings

Syl wrote:

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Digger wrote:

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Syl wrote:

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Men, especially young men who compulsively view porn , probably don't realise it's possibly damaging their real life relationships, till it's too late.
The same as women who use some exotic and energetic artificial aids for sexual pleasure, don't realise they can deaden their response to a mere human penis.

People sometimes are their own worse enemy.

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 I can't understand sex toys.  What the hell is that all about?   And why would you prefer it to the real thing?

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 I have no idea, I have never used one. But sometimes, listening to women talk, it seems like many other women, even women with partners, just take them for granted.

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 What are their partners doing that "many other women " (stats,?) don't appreciate ?

Fluffy wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Barksdale wrote:

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Fluffy wrote:

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People are responsible for their own actions.

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 This is related to my previous post today but most actions occur due to unconscious motivations that we do not think about. Those motivations can become conditioned through the influences we get from the environment around us and societal messages from say religion, our parents, our community and so on.

 

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 Good point. Who has the insight or willingness to admit 'I am not the master in my own house'? We're driven by things we're not consciously aware of.

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 I'm not quite sure what that means..do you mean men don't feel in charge of their partners and children?  I think times have moved on now and loving relationships are based on mutual love and respect, no one is in charge of the other.

But I'm not sure that is what you mean or how it relates to the discussion. Syl seems to understand it though..I feel a tad daft. 

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 It's not meant literally; it's a metaphor for how one's ego likes to think it's in control but often it isn't. It was in response to Barksdale's comment about how things we do can be driven by unconscious forces. And yes you're right, nothing to do with Bonnie Blue.

Fluffy wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Barksdale wrote:

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Fluffy wrote:

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People are responsible for their own actions.

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 This is related to my previous post today but most actions occur due to unconscious motivations that we do not think about. Those motivations can become conditioned through the influences we get from the environment around us and societal messages from say religion, our parents, our community and so on.

 

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 Good point. Who has the insight or willingness to admit 'I am not the master in my own house'? We're driven by things we're not consciously aware of.

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 I'm not quite sure what that means..do you mean men don't feel in charge of their partners and children?  I think times have moved on now and loving relationships are based on mutual love and respect, no one is in charge of the other.

But I'm not sure that is what you mean or how it relates to the discussion. Syl seems to understand it though..I feel a tad daft. 

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 Daft you are certainly not, and many things can be interpreted in different ways. We all have our own perspective on where people are coming from when they post on a forum.

Digger wrote:

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Bonnie Blue and her antics represent everything that is wrong with the world.   Cheap.  Promiscuous.  Immoral.  Avaricious.  Debauched.  Base. Sleazy.  Entitled. Amoral. Deluded. Narcissistic.

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 The rot has been setting in for a good while. It wasn't that long ago Katie Price was (in some teen magazine poll) voted the woman most girls aspired to be like....it could only go downhill from there.

Digger wrote:

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Bonnie Blue and her antics represent everything that is wrong with the world.   Cheap.  Promiscuous.  Immoral.  Avaricious.  Debauched.  Base. Sleazy.  Entitled. Amoral. Deluded. Narcissistic.

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 It's a shame men rewarded her by making her a millionaire.

Diggs, may I ask would you say the same about a male sex worker who had slept with a 1000 men?

A few young men have become millionaires on the OnlyFans platform and two gave interviews although I noted they didn't receive the critique or judgement Bonnie Blue did, so you would be far from alone if you said no.

Syl wrote:

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Digger wrote:

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Bonnie Blue and her antics represent everything that is wrong with the world.   Cheap.  Promiscuous.  Immoral.  Avaricious.  Debauched.  Base. Sleazy.  Entitled. Amoral. Deluded. Narcissistic.

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 The rot has been setting in for a good while. It wasn't that long ago Katie Price was (in some teen magazine poll) voted the woman most girls aspired to be like....it could only go downhill from there.

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 I feel sorry for Katie Price and wish her Mum would have a word. She is another who made a million on OnlyFans only to lose it (making a million on that site isn't commonplace btw although I wouldn't blame you for thinking otherwise!)

She has gone WAY too far with the plastic surgery, and frankly  looks gaunt and unwell. The face can only take so much surgery. She definitely suffers from body dismorphia. She.was naturally pretty with brown curly hair when she started out and a normal sized chest. But again, she was rewarded financially by men when she became more sexual.

When I heard her give an interview saying surgery would help her look hotter than her son's girlfriend I cringed. I don't really care about her profession, it's her narcissistic personality I don't like. Why on earth would she want to compete with her son's girlfriend who is half her age? And doesn't she care about how these public declarations make her son feel??

She's had her time, it's a bit like when ageing rockstars bring out material that is nothing like their best. I do feel sorry for her because she has all these half hearted unions with random men and it's obvious she doesn't care about them. They are glorified accessories. She had the man she loved and didn't think he would actually leave.

I'm no fan of Andre but she really was horrible to him and now he has a naturally beautiful wife who treats him like he's human and the healthy family dynamic that she desperately craves. If he said he wanted her back she would be there like a shot. Sadly he never will.

Fluffy wrote:

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Digger wrote:

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Bonnie Blue and her antics represent everything that is wrong with the world.   Cheap.  Promiscuous.  Immoral.  Avaricious.  Debauched.  Base. Sleazy.  Entitled. Amoral. Deluded. Narcissistic.

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 It's a shame men rewarded her by making her a millionaire.

Diggs, may I ask would you say the same about a male sex worker who had slept with a 1000 men?

A few young men have become millionaires on the OnlyFans platform and two gave interviews although I noted they didn't receive the critique or judgement Bonnie Blue did, so you would be far from alone if you said no.

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 You seem to think that a woman's  power and emancipation  is to aspire to be like men.  Wrong.

Women have to uphold their morals because men won't.  We have to say no to men and set sexual boundaries because men won't.  We have to have full autonomy of birth control because men won't.    We have to walk through life with dignity and decorum in spite of what  men think of us or  how they perceive us or how they treat us.  We've had to fight since walking on two legs for respect and equality from men.  

So, no, I don't say the same about male sex workers....because they're men.   They're not the ones who get stalked, raped, abused, by men who watch women being raped, abused, spat on, shat on, et al, and,  as the delightful BB quoted,  have their 'insides re-arranged' by a thousand cocks for the delight and delectation of.....men. 

So, any woman in the porn industry, particularly the nasty stuff,  is doing a massive disservice to other women.  Something she chooses to do.  That makes her a traitor to her own sex.

Fluffy wrote:

Do you think that men should take responsibility if they watch a lot of porn (much of it aggressive towards women ) if they are keeping it a secret from their partner? Especially if they can no longer get pleasure without porn? 

Your scenario here shows a man pressuring his girlfriend to do sexual acts she may not enjoy that HE can't get aroused without said acts. Then surely the young man has to take responsibility (and some sort of action) concerning his reliance on porn if he cares at all for his girlfriend? Why is it ok for him to.be pressuring her to do something in the bedroom when he knows her boundaries?

You say Bonnie Blue must take responsibility for the harmful effects that occur in society due to the porn  she makes ..yet curiously you do not say the man in the fictional account above should take responsibility for his all consuming porn habit. That he actually needs in order to be aroused.

Why do men view porn if it damages their real life relationship  so much? Should men consider the repercussions of their choice to watch porn or is that the fault of the woman in the porn video too?

I don't mean to sound annoyed and I'm not, I just get very passionate when all the blame is put on women and I'm honestly interested in your thoughts.

-- Edited by Fluffy on Saturday 9th of August 2025 06:50:29 PM

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 I do not put all the blame on women, far from it. Men have traditionally been both the producers of porn which is highly directed at male rather than female fantasies as well as the main consumers of it. Therefore, the predominant emphasis should be on men to do better and make the world safer and better in this area.

However, times have changed and female performers are now producers and with declining standards of female behaviour more objectification is occurring. Therefore women share some of the responsibility and need to be part of the solution. That has been the subject of this conversation which is why I have addressed female behaviour specifically.

I definitely think young men should moderate their use of porn and treat it almost like junk food - nice on occasion but if it is the bulk of your diet you will get sick. Porn takes far more than it gives and is designed to be addictive to increase profits. Ideally, young men should reduce it to almost zero in their lives but I appreciate that may not be possible.

Incidentally, I really don't mind long posts or arguing (as long as it is in good faith which this clearly is.) We don't have to agree on everything do we? Also there is no need to apologise for expressing your legitimately held view. You have just as much right to express it is anyone else does. 

Barksdale wrote:

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Fluffy wrote:

Do you think that men should take responsibility if they watch a lot of porn (much of it aggressive towards women ) if they are keeping it a secret from their partner? Especially if they can no longer get pleasure without porn? 

Your scenario here shows a man pressuring his girlfriend to do sexual acts she may not enjoy that HE can't get aroused without said acts. Then surely the young man has to take responsibility (and some sort of action) concerning his reliance on porn if he cares at all for his girlfriend? Why is it ok for him to.be pressuring her to do something in the bedroom when he knows her boundaries?

You say Bonnie Blue must take responsibility for the harmful effects that occur in society due to the porn  she makes ..yet curiously you do not say the man in the fictional account above should take responsibility for his all consuming porn habit. That he actually needs in order to be aroused.

Why do men view porn if it damages their real life relationship  so much? Should men consider the repercussions of their choice to watch porn or is that the fault of the woman in the porn video too?

I don't mean to sound annoyed and I'm not, I just get very passionate when all the blame is put on women and I'm honestly interested in your thoughts.

-- Edited by Fluffy on Saturday 9th of August 2025 06:50:29 PM

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 I do not put all the blame on women, far from it. Men have traditionally been both the producers of porn which is highly directed at male rather than female fantasies as well as the main consumers of it. Therefore, the predominant emphasis should be on men to do better and make the world safer and better in this area.

However, times have changed and female performers are now producers and with declining standards of female behaviour more objectification is occurring. Therefore women share some of the responsibility and need to be part of the solution. That has been the subject of this conversation which is why I have addressed female behaviour specifically.

I definitely think young men should moderate their use of porn and treat it almost like junk food - nice on occasion but if it is the bulk of your diet you will get sick. Porn takes far more than it gives and is designed to be addictive to increase profits. Ideally, young men should reduce it to almost zero in their lives but I appreciate that may not be possible.

Incidentally, I really don't mind long posts or arguing (as long as it is in good faith which this clearly is.) We don't have to agree on everything do we? Also there is no need to apologise for expressing your legitimately held view. You have just as much right to express it is anyone else does. 

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 Thank you for the sentiment in the BIB,Syl and Mags have told me the same thing but I do worry when my view differs from other people's for some reason.

I agree largely with every thing you said .Both sexes should take responsibility for their behaviour in this regard and parents need to care what their children are viewing on their smart phones also.

There has been a moral decline in western society and extreme porn is an example of this. Relationships seem much more clinical these days and just based on superficial things , the real intimacy care and well, genuine love does not always seem to be apparent. It's a shame.