ChaoticMusings

Magica · Go Outside

The Good, the Bad and the Funny as Fuck

Syl · FIRM BUT FAIR.

Vam wrote:
Syl wrote:
I waited up till you finished part 2 of your story....aww, I can just imagine your embarrassment Vam.
Those Cavalry horses are huge, extremely beautiful animals. Thank goodness they are well trained, a kick off one of them would have been catastrophic.
Aww, lovely lady, never wait up for me droning on. I never do succinct, and I’d hate for you to be sleep deprived! 😂
It was a heart-in-my-mouth moment. But of course, those guys and their horses aren’t just there for decorative purposes. Some of them have seen some action, so would have been unfazed by my daft demented little gremlin leaping around.
Gotta say, their discipline is an awesome thing to see up close, though
Sleep well 😉

I never go to bed early, Vam. Luckilly, I can sleep in, in the mornings if I want to.

The Queens horses are certainly well trained, but they can also get irritated and bite...usually people. I have watched a few videos of the guards on horses in the sentry boxes. There are huge signs warning people the horses can kick or bite, but some people still manage to get bitten....then they complain.

Digger · Admin

Vam wrote:
(and finally… )
One day as I was walking them, I could see the Cavalry guys doing their Cavalry thing, but they were quite a fair distance away. My dogs could see them too, of course. But they were leashed, so no biggie. Or so I thought.
The dogs started straining forward as usual, trying to get closer. Tbf, one of them started yipping and darting around my feet. But her sister….jeeezus! 😳 She went ballistic, spinning round and round, and practically garrotting herself to break free of her leash to go ‘play’ with the horses.
She managed to ditch her leash that day, and took off faster than an Exocet missile.
By the time I finally caught up with her, she was underneath a horse’s tummy, eagerly whimpering and barking and demanding some quality time with it. I was terrified that it would only take one hoof kick to propel her across 2 postcodes.
A very tall Cavalry guy calmly stopped and let his group carry on training without him, while he and his horse stood stock-still. Both of them completely motionless, and both with their backs to me, despite the pandemonium going on underneath them.
After a few moments, the horse casually and slowly turned its long neck and head, trying to see what all the fuss was about. Its rider also turned his head to look at me in complete unison with the horse, big gold helmet with the long floofy plumage blowing in the breeze. I’m 5’7” but I still had to crane my neck to look up at his stony face, while offering profuse and grovelling apologies.
He quietly replied “Madam, we’ll wait until you are finally able to safely collect your….erm….dog.” I tried very hard to not get pissed off at the way he said ‘dog’ - voice dripping with sarcasm. He was used to being around royalty, ffs, so I would have preferred him to say ’your princess’
But the memory of that massive horse and its rider’s bemused faces as they both turned in unison to look at me, will be forever imprinted in my brain 😂

-- Edited by Vam on Wednesday 13th of August 2025 01:00:40 AM

Those horses are so highly trained. I can only imagine how appalled and fearful you must have felt. I remember our dog before this one got loose at a car boot sale and ran into a field of horses. The carnage lasted at least 10 minutes before we caught him.

Vam · Go Outside.

Magica wrote:
Lovely story Vam x

Thanks, Mags. It was a long story, too! 😂

My next one definitely fits Digger’s Funny as Fuck category. But not when it happened. When it happened, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole 😢
Looking forward to seeing other people’s big blooper moments though!

Vam · Go Outside.

Digger wrote:
Those horses are so highly trained. I can only imagine how appalled and fearful you must have felt. I remember our dog before this one got loose at a car boot sale and ran into a field of horses. The carnage lasted at least 10 minutes before we caught him.

It was a bit touch and go for me and the panic kicked in, mostly because I couldn’t see where she was as I was running to catch up and find her.

It’s weird how certain things, like a horse, can suddenly trigger our otherwise perfectly behaved dogs, isn’t it?

Fluffy · Musing at the Chaos

Digger wrote:
Fluffy wrote:
Vam wrote:
Digger wrote:
Something once very nearly gave me PTSD. Me and my boyfriend at the time, whom I later married, were staying at his sister's house while they were away. We slept in their bed and were both stark naked at 3am when the sister and her husband unexpectedly came home a day early. After drinking a skinful, the husband forgot we were in his bed and got undressed and got in beside us, luckily on my boyfriend's side. I was absolutely traumatized, but was forced to ooze out of the bed like a oil slick onto the floor. After desperate fumbling I managed to find my clothes and got dressed. My poor boyfriend wasn't so lucky. His brother in law, also naked, had entwined himself around him in a death grip!

Anon on the other thread is right - you really, really should write a book
2 absolutely mortifying experiences for me immediately sprang to mind when I saw this thread. But if I say what they were, the peeps here will think ‘Meh…there’s that Vam being flashy again’ So, maybe not for now ….
If I'm not mistaken Digs did write a book! A fantasy one. If I'm mistaken and confused you with someone else on FH Digs In sorry but I'm pretty sure

-- Edited by Fluffy on Tuesday 12th of August 2025 01:17:02 PM
Yes, I've written a few. Not really fantasy, but involving time travel for two of them. How the first book came about was a bit weird. I had a reading at a mind body spirit fair with Simon Goodfellow, a well known medium. He told me I'd be writing a book about America. At the time I was like, er no chance of that even though in the mid 1980s I used to write articles for the Manchester Evening News. I'd not written for years. Then one day I was reading an article in the Mail about Lewis Thornton Powell and his image wouldn't let me go. I did some research and found his biographer, got friendly with her, and spent two years and with her help writing the book that weaves a story around him. I had the help of several American historians, people who shared all their research with me. They were all so kind. I decided to self publish as the book is 500 pages long and no mainstream publisher would ever take that on. And I wanted complete control over my work.
If you don't know who Lewis Powell is you can read about him here.

https://www.lewisthorntonpowell.co.uk/

He was a very magnetic looking assassin.

I I do envy you having written several books but your post regarding you telling off your daughter's teacher shows just how brilliant your vocabulary is.

I really love your thread regarding things that cannot be explained, mediums the occult etc. I love astrology and birth charts (I would LOVE to know people's starsigns here but can't just ask them really on a forum) but know most think it's trite nonsense and knowing the sun sign alone doesn't help much anyway.

I think there is much more to this world than meets the eye. Or maybe it's just hope that something exists beyond this world. Anyway random post over lol

-- Edited by Fluffy on Wednesday 13th of August 2025 05:28:24 PM