ChaoticMusings

Vam · Go Outside.

RE: The lesser seen great British Pub soon to be seen no more.

Digger · Admin

Syl wrote:
Maddog wrote:
Syl wrote:
/\ Water in one hand, mobile phone in the other...both alien to my generation.
I don't think younger people do 'go out on the pull' any more....they swipe right instead, and probably meet up with someone they wouldn't have looked twice at in the pub.
They still meet in bars, but the spontaneous one night stands aren't as common.

They meet, exchange info for a future encounter and then rarely act upon that initial meeting.

The single life is weird. I'm not in the younger scene per se, but I'm an observer of the rituals.

One thing that's for certain, younger men are confused as hell and they are a bit leary of women, especially face to face.

While I'm not "pulling" younger girls (20 somethings), I know quite a few casually and they are a bit exasperated with younger men too.

And it sort of depends on the environment.

I can ask a girl to dance in the Stockyards, take her by the hand and lead her to the dance floor without those girls batting an eye.

Try that in a hipster part of town, to a girl with blue hair and a pierced septum, and she might accuse you of assault..

Which is why young men retreat to the safety of swiping left or right. It may not be productive, but it's not publicly humiliating..
Young men used to expect to be publicly humiliated, it was all part of the dating schedule.
I can't imagine anything more humiliating for a young man, than to walk across a room, ask a girl to dance, she refuses, and he has to walk back again.
Women may be more liberated now, but they have always had the upper hand really, when it comes to picking and choosing a mate.

My mum taught me that if a boy had the courage to ask me to dance then he deserved that first dance. After that, I could say no. And that's how I operated back in the day. I saw girls telling lads to fuck off or laugh in their face.

Syl · FIRM BUT FAIR.

Vam wrote:
I’m reading through this thread (& LOL-ing a bit too). But it’s actually startling to realise quite how much getting out and socialising has changed over the years - and not necessarily for the good.
As the fabulous Prince Rogers Nelson used to sing, ‘Let a woman be a woman and a man be a man’, simply is the way it has always worked best since time immemorial. It’s just the natural order of things, imo 💁🏻‍♀️
Sadly these days, guys need to learn how to man-up. And women need to be much less uptight and less easily offended. Way too many navel-gazing neurotics are walking among us.
I blame the freaking internet (again)

The internet has a lot to answer for.

I still have a look on Mumsnet now and again, I only post of I feel like a row.

There are so many man haters on there, it's not a world I recognise. The amount of times I see women ganging up on another trying to persuade her that her boyfriend/husband should be left, sometimes when they have done nothing wrong, is unbelievable.

They certainly don't believe in working at a relationship.

Red Okktober · Getting Gobby

Vam wrote:

😂 Red, your posts are often so descriptive, that I can actually picture the scene in my mind’s eye
It‘s a great skill to have!

School disco memories!

Were you an acceptor or refuser if a boy asked you to dance?

Did you wait for the best looking boy to ask you, or did you just accept anyone so you didn't look like a wallflower?

Red Okktober · Getting Gobby

Digger wrote:

My mum taught me that if a boy had the courage to ask me to dance then he deserved that first dance. After that, I could say no. And that's how I operated back in the day. I saw girls telling lads to fuck off or laugh in their face.

LoL

That must have made the walk of refusal back to their mates even worse!

Syl · FIRM BUT FAIR.

Digger wrote:
Syl wrote:
Maddog wrote:
Syl wrote:
/\ Water in one hand, mobile phone in the other...both alien to my generation.
I don't think younger people do 'go out on the pull' any more....they swipe right instead, and probably meet up with someone they wouldn't have looked twice at in the pub.
They still meet in bars, but the spontaneous one night stands aren't as common.

They meet, exchange info for a future encounter and then rarely act upon that initial meeting.

The single life is weird. I'm not in the younger scene per se, but I'm an observer of the rituals.

One thing that's for certain, younger men are confused as hell and they are a bit leary of women, especially face to face.

While I'm not "pulling" younger girls (20 somethings), I know quite a few casually and they are a bit exasperated with younger men too.

And it sort of depends on the environment.

I can ask a girl to dance in the Stockyards, take her by the hand and lead her to the dance floor without those girls batting an eye.

Try that in a hipster part of town, to a girl with blue hair and a pierced septum, and she might accuse you of assault..

Which is why young men retreat to the safety of swiping left or right. It may not be productive, but it's not publicly humiliating..
Young men used to expect to be publicly humiliated, it was all part of the dating schedule.
I can't imagine anything more humiliating for a young man, than to walk across a room, ask a girl to dance, she refuses, and he has to walk back again.
Women may be more liberated now, but they have always had the upper hand really, when it comes to picking and choosing a mate.

My mum taught me that if a boy had the courage to ask me to dance then he deserved that first dance. After that, I could say no. And that's how I operated back in the day. I saw girls telling lads to fuck off or laugh in their face.

Me too, apart from one time when it really was a misunderstanding and I feel bad talking about it.

Other times, if a lad walked the floor to ask, I would dance, like you, sometimes only one dance, but it was better than refusing. Sometimes it could be awkward, if I was sat down, and a short lad came over, when I stood up, I could tower over him, 5'8'' without heels and bouffant hair (I am going back a bit) I could be inches taller.

Oddly, it never seemed to bother the lad, and sometimes short men had the best personalities.

Syl · FIRM BUT FAIR.

Maddog wrote:
Syl wrote:
Maddog wrote:
Syl wrote:
/\ Water in one hand, mobile phone in the other...both alien to my generation.
I don't think younger people do 'go out on the pull' any more....they swipe right instead, and probably meet up with someone they wouldn't have looked twice at in the pub.
They still meet in bars, but the spontaneous one night stands aren't as common.

They meet, exchange info for a future encounter and then rarely act upon that initial meeting.

The single life is weird. I'm not in the younger scene per se, but I'm an observer of the rituals.

One thing that's for certain, younger men are confused as hell and they are a bit leary of women, especially face to face.

While I'm not "pulling" younger girls (20 somethings), I know quite a few casually and they are a bit exasperated with younger men too.

And it sort of depends on the environment.

I can ask a girl to dance in the Stockyards, take her by the hand and lead her to the dance floor without those girls batting an eye.

Try that in a hipster part of town, to a girl with blue hair and a pierced septum, and she might accuse you of assault..

Which is why young men retreat to the safety of swiping left or right. It may not be productive, but it's not publicly humiliating..
Young men used to expect to be publicly humiliated, it was all part of the dating schedule.
I can't imagine anything more humiliating for a young man, than to walk across a room, ask a girl to dance, she refuses, and he has to walk back again.
Women may be more liberated now, but they have always had the upper hand really, when it comes to picking and choosing a mate.

I've always said they had the real power, at least when they are young. You got something we want..

I think years ago, us men didn't have any options. We either steeled ourselves for rejection or had zero chance for a social life. But usually the rejection was polite. Now there's a significant number of women that take offense to men even approaching them.

So now, a lot of men play it safe..

And like I said before, it sort of all depends on where you are. There is still a huge number of women that still expect traditional roles for men and women (without all of the uber toxic shit), at least around here.

Like, it's still more common than not for a man to remove his hat when greeting a lady.

Do that to a girl from California and she will think you are a retarded caveman or the sweetest thing ever..

Lol...I can't imagine anyone under 50 doffing their cap to a lady nowadays, the older men I have known when I was working, usually 70 plus, always did so....but then they never swore in front of a lady, or told rude jokes either, they were just respectful gentlemen.

Women still have the upper hand in many instances. Obviously when young we can pick and choose, but once chosen, and babies arrive, if a relationship doesn't work out, many a father gets a raw deal when it comes to seeing his kids.

Maddog · Go Outside

Syl wrote:
Maddog wrote:
Syl wrote:
Maddog wrote:
Syl wrote:
/\ Water in one hand, mobile phone in the other...both alien to my generation.
I don't think younger people do 'go out on the pull' any more....they swipe right instead, and probably meet up with someone they wouldn't have looked twice at in the pub.
They still meet in bars, but the spontaneous one night stands aren't as common.

They meet, exchange info for a future encounter and then rarely act upon that initial meeting.

The single life is weird. I'm not in the younger scene per se, but I'm an observer of the rituals.

One thing that's for certain, younger men are confused as hell and they are a bit leary of women, especially face to face.

While I'm not "pulling" younger girls (20 somethings), I know quite a few casually and they are a bit exasperated with younger men too.

And it sort of depends on the environment.

I can ask a girl to dance in the Stockyards, take her by the hand and lead her to the dance floor without those girls batting an eye.

Try that in a hipster part of town, to a girl with blue hair and a pierced septum, and she might accuse you of assault..

Which is why young men retreat to the safety of swiping left or right. It may not be productive, but it's not publicly humiliating..
Young men used to expect to be publicly humiliated, it was all part of the dating schedule.
I can't imagine anything more humiliating for a young man, than to walk across a room, ask a girl to dance, she refuses, and he has to walk back again.
Women may be more liberated now, but they have always had the upper hand really, when it comes to picking and choosing a mate.

I've always said they had the real power, at least when they are young. You got something we want..

I think years ago, us men didn't have any options. We either steeled ourselves for rejection or had zero chance for a social life. But usually the rejection was polite. Now there's a significant number of women that take offense to men even approaching them.

So now, a lot of men play it safe..

And like I said before, it sort of all depends on where you are. There is still a huge number of women that still expect traditional roles for men and women (without all of the uber toxic shit), at least around here.

Like, it's still more common than not for a man to remove his hat when greeting a lady.

Do that to a girl from California and she will think you are a retarded caveman or the sweetest thing ever..
Lol...I can't imagine anyone under 50 doffing their cap to a lady nowadays, the older men I have known when I was working, usually 70 plus, always did so....but then they never swore in front of a lady, or told rude jokes either, they were just respectful gentlemen.
Women still have the upper hand in many instances. Obviously when young we can pick and choose, but once chosen, and babies arrive, if a relationship doesn't work out, many a father gets a raw deal when it comes to seeing his kids.

Women have the power up to a certain age. When the looks fade and the kids are grown, the bullshit men have to put up with is over. Now married men may tolerate it, but us single guys sure as hell don't need to.

That's why there are a lot of unhappy single women in their 40s and 50s. What worked (was tolerated) when they were younger (and often thinner) doesn't work on us guys.

We don't find a difficult woman attractive and were not going to try to make it work even if she is gorgeous.

A relationship should be your harbor from the storms of the world, not ground zero for the storm..

Maddog · Go Outside

www.facebook.com/share/r/17eSxYTgdP/

Sort of on topic..😉

Syl · FIRM BUT FAIR.

Men age too, and they can grow old and grumpy, so alternatively, women don't have to put up with them either. Statistics show single women cope better than single men.

"Exploratory analyses showed significant gender interactions with age and ethnicity. Overall, these findings suggest that women are, on average, happier in singlehood than men.24 Oct 2024."

Maddog · Go Outside

Syl wrote:
Men age too, and they can grow old and grumpy, so alternatively, women don't have to put up with them either. Statistics show single women cope better than single men.

"Exploratory analyses showed significant gender interactions with age and ethnicity. Overall, these findings suggest that women are, on average, happier in singlehood than men.24 Oct 2024."

Yeah, I get that. But i think men sorta get better as we age. We arent testosterone laden lunatics anymore .

And there is a large group of men that don't function well being single. Widowers especially don't do well.

Syl · FIRM BUT FAIR.

I'm not sure men age better. I know a lot more widows than widowers.
Like you say, men who lose their wives to death don't seem to fare as well as women.

My friend was widowed a few years ago, she and three other widows are having the time of their lives....all in their 60's and 70's.

Maddog · Go Outside

Syl wrote:
I'm not sure men age better. I know a lot more widows than widowers.
Like you say, men who lose their wives to death don't seem to fare as well as women.

My friend was widowed a few years ago, she and three other widows are having the time of their lives....all in their 60's and 70's.

I'm saying we usually become better humans as we age..

Both genders are a work in progress. We just need more work than the ladies..

I look back at what I used to think and do..................😳🙄

Vam · Go Outside.

Red Okktober wrote:
Vam wrote:

😂 Red, your posts are often so descriptive, that I can actually picture the scene in my mind’s eye
It‘s a great skill to have!
School disco memories!
Were you an acceptor or refuser if a boy asked you to dance?
Did you wait for the best looking boy to ask you, or did you just accept anyone so you didn't look like a wallflower?

😂 School discos were not a thing at my all-girls convent school.

So it’s not like I was spoilt for choice! 😂

Syl · FIRM BUT FAIR.

I somehow didn’t picture Vam attending an all girls convent school.

Maddog · Go Outside

Syl wrote:
I somehow didn’t picture Vam attending an all girls convent school.

I did. Pretty common for wild Italian women. They spend their adult life in rebellion..😉

Vam · Go Outside.

Syl wrote:
I somehow didn’t picture Vam attending an all girls convent school.

I recognise this guilty expression all too well! 🤣

Vam · Go Outside.

Maddog wrote:
Syl wrote:
I somehow didn’t picture Vam attending an all girls convent school.
I did. Pretty common for wild Italian women. They spend their adult life in rebellion..😉

Syl · FIRM BUT FAIR.

It's odd the mental image we get of posters, probably a million miles from who they really are in real life.

It may make a good thread, but would probably end up in resentments.

Vam · Go Outside.

Syl wrote:
It's odd the mental image we get of posters, probably a million miles from who they really are in real life.

It may make a good thread, but would probably end up in resentments.

Could be worth doing, just for the sheer hell of it

But after several years, I like to think you and I have finally figured each other out. We know stuff…